a stalking I will go...

None of you who know me will be surprised that I am a professional stalker... in Facebook-land and real life, too.  And, as my buddy Martin pointed out last night... it's totally what the invention of Google was all about, right?

So here is the question of the day: what is the line between stalking and... ummm... getting to know someone?

I'll explain...

I have a new friend.  At this point, she's only my friend on Facebook.  Well, that's not totally true... our girls have dance together.  Anyone who has daughters/children in any sort of extra-curricular activities knows the joy of "Dance Moms" (read: Preschool Moms, Church Moms, whatever.)  If you aren't in the inner loop, then while your child is enjoying that activity, you sit... cleaning out your purse, sending texts, reading a book.

Some days, that's heaven.

Some days, that's lonely.

E has been at her dance studio "full-time" since August.  There's one mom I know in there from a previous Kindermusik experience.  When she's there, we chat.  It's nice.  One other mom I've thoroughly enjoyed talking to, but quite honestly, I don't even know her name.  The Kindermusik Mom knows another mom there, and the three of us have chatted in the past about books, church, and church books.

Then last Saturday while we were at "Tangled", I saw "other mom" leaving the theater with her kids... and I didn't even know how to address her.  "Hi, Dance Mom who I've talked to about books!"  Yeah, no... so I didn't say anything.

Until Tuesday.

Tuesday, once sweet E was in her precious pink outfit (without shoes, because we'd left them in Dan's car), I went up to that mom and said "This is ridiculous.  I saw you on Saturday and didn't even know your name.  My name's Becky.  What's yours?"

Yep.  Just like that.  Just like any normal person should have done months ago.

Then, because my new friend had a name easy to find on FB (me: hmmm... I'll just check and see if she's on here)... now we are Facebook friends.  Shocking, I know.  But my friend request to her said "Please be my friend on here so I can know someone at Dance."  (The other 2 moms I talk to there aren't on FB.  I've asked.)

New Friend, if you are reading this, don't worry.  Now that we are friends, I will not attack your precious hour of time without your little one.  I will not sit beside you each week and make you tell me all the fun things you've been doing.  But, I will like knowing you by name.

And, people, let's be honest... I won't have to interrupt your precious time... because I will know all the fun things you've been doing... because I'm a professional stalker.

Therein lies the question: is reading someone's wall truly stalking?  That's the whole point of Facebook, right? It's a public forum to post what you want people to know about you, right?

Don't hear me say I read everyone's page... I'll be honest, I don't have time for that.  I read my News Feed.  If you post fun pictures, sometimes I see them.  If you send me a message, I read it.  And sometimes, when I have a moment, that leads me to go to your page and see what you've been doing.  Then I'm all "I didn't know you know her!" or "I have always wanted to eat there... was it good?" or "Who knew you were from the mountains!"... and then a beautiful virtual relationship is born.

But is that not the point?

So help me process this, friends... when is it stalking and when is it using FB for what it was intended- the sharing of social information?

All of this to say that this morning while I should be polishing up my Ice Breaker for MOMS at church, I've been "stalking" my New Friend's page.  Who knew she just ran a 5K?  Amazing.  And, she had Chicken Pie for dinner.  Lord, help me, I love Facebook....

Birthday Bubble

(Seriously, Wes... the next, like, 3 posts will be about my birthday.  Deal with it.)

Yesterday I had the unexpected good fortune of a perfect day.

Recently I let my brain wander to the "When did I have a 'normal' week?" category and came up with "The beginning of October."  Quickly intent on starting a "wow, my life is overwhelming" Pity Party, I went the other direction.  I decided to claim it for what it was... a-typical... and move on.

Later, I realized that if anyone has met me in to 2010 year, they must think I am one giant train wreck.  A (random) tumor that leaves me debilitated for months from March-May... then a fall season of grieving and death... wow, this girl comes with some junk.  (And "new" friends?  I am a giant train wreck.  Just usually, the issues are only major because I make them so.  This year, however, the issues have been legit... and large.)  I started claiming in that moment that I am looking forward to New Years Day, when the promise of a new year- and some new "normalcy"- brightens my mood.

Then, in the midst of planning for that "future", God does what He so often does... He redeems my "present".  With just a shift of my attitude and the entrance of The Birthday Bubble, 2010 seems like it may end in the positive.

My gal pal, Leigh, introduced me to the magic of The Birthday Bubble back in 2002.  Before that, I'd just celebrated my birthday a wee bit before the 7th and a wee bit after, calling it all "My Birthday".  Once Leigh showed me the glorious spirit that comes with owning all of those wee bits and encompassing them in a segment of time known as "The Birthday Bubble"- thus making each moment in said Bubble exciting and not just a tag-on- a new beautiful tradition was born.

It was fitting that this, my 35th Birthday Bubble, was christened by none other than Leigh herself.  After our family's Christmas tradition of getting out all of our decorations then ordering Chinese Take-out, Leigh came to pick me up for a girl date.  A few hours of conversation and a couple of chocolate covered cherry martinis later... The Bubble had begun.

Yesterday would have been one for the books, Bubble or no Bubble.  But the beauty that it occurred IN The Bubble makes it even more festive.

Dan had a meeting in Raleigh, so Miss E and I were taking on the duty of finishing our decorating.  She woke me up BRIGHT and early ("Mommy, do you want to see the sunrise?!?!") ready to put ornaments on the tree.  As we were decorating (read: Mommy was doing the "boring" parts), we (read: E) watched a Playhouse Disney Christmas DVD... only to look outside and see massive snowflakes.  Seriously?  Snow while decorating your tree?  Unbelievable.  After the Disney DVD went off, I immediately introduced E to Buddy the Elf as she watched a super fun Christmas selection I hadn't seen in far too long.

We took a break from decorating and went outside to play in the snow.  Buddy had inspired us to throw snowballs, after all.  We came in, took baths to get warm, then cuddled up back on the couch to watch Rudolph... certain that Dan (read: Captain Cautious) would not want to go out later for our previously arranged evening plans.

Was I in for a shock when he got home and said "Come on girls!  Let's go!!"

We went to see Tangled (super. just super) and then, thanks to the kindness of dear friends, enjoyed dinner at the Village Tavern.  Complete with Birthday Ice Cream and an amazing server who sent me home with a new salad- since mine came dressed and would be soggy, therefore not good for leftovers.

Seriously.

Perfection.

Christmas decorations and movies... Snow... Snowball fights... Warm baths... 3-D movies... Yummy dinner... what's a girl gotta do to live like this all the time?

Oh, right... I remember... not expect it all time.  And just enjoy it when it happens.  Especially when it happens in The Birthday Bubble.

(My fave "bubble" pic... even if it's non-birthday.

Thanks, Elise, for capturing it.)

I don't have a single original idea.

To stick with the theme that Wes loves, let's talk about my birthday.

I've mentioned before that my best birthday gifts back in 2001 were when my friends wrote me letters about how fabulous I am.  (Or, at least in my mind, that's what I read.)

Well, last April, I discovered something magical that happened in one of my favorite Kindergartener's rooms.  For my first trip out post-surgery, my gal pal took me with her to her daughter's school party.  There, a magical Kindergarten teacher (who now is in my Book Club!  woot for Book Club!) celebrated each child's birthday by having everyone in the class draw a picture and write a blurb about what they would give the birthday child if they could give them anything.  Said-teacher put all of the birthday "wishes" together in a book to give to the child.  Brilliant!!

Recently, one of my blogger pals invited me to her Virtual Birthday Party.  If I accepted the invitation (which y'all know I did), I had to tell her what guest I was bringing with me and what gift I was giving her.  All virtually.  Now, she is cooler than I am and is going to Photoshop all of her guests having a kickin' time at her party.  Again... brilliant.

So I'm going to jump on the Fake Party/Gift Bandwagon.  Comment below and tell me a.What you'd love to give me, b.Who you are bringing with you, and c.What fabulous thing the 2 of us are going to do together in my next year of life.  I will, as a result, a.Not write you a thank you note but b.Write a super blog post about all of my attendees to my Fake-Party, what gift I received, and what super plans I have with all of you for the next year.

I'm giddy just thinking about it.  This is going to be rawesome.

(Please RSVP for my Fake Party by December 7.  A day that will live in infamy.)

non-average Monday makes Tuesday oh-so-special.

Morning= super.  productive.  peaceful.  Except for that whole "I feel like crap" business.

Noon= rapid decline.  Feeling worse.

1:30= Dr. says to be there at 2:30.  Call Lindsey, who, btw, rocks my world, and she comes to keep my girl.  I rush to the doctor.

2:30= walk in with just enough time to fill out paperwork and grab People's 25 Sexiest Men Alive issue.
(Unfortunately, Doctor is prompt enough that I get seen quickly and don't get to finish the issue. She told me to not even think about taking it.)

Leave doctor's office, head to bank, then to get meds.

In the middle of the busiest road around, my car begins to emit massive amounts of smoke.

Massive.


Amounts.


Of.


Smoke.

I make a U-turn (not in the middle of the road, Debbie... I pulled into a parking lot and turned around) and went 2 businesses down to go to the car mechanic we go to.  "Perfect" timing.

(Lots of burst hoses, new thermostat, and $450+ and we'll have a functioning car back!  Yay.)

So now, I sit... feeling like crap... overwhelmed with life... and frustrated with most of the stuff on our to-do-list and  our to-pay-for list.

Super.

Where was that easy way of seeing things from yesterday?

Only thing keeping me going... Glee is on in one hour.  Thank God for that little ray of sunshine.  And don't judge me for that.

not your average Monday...

So, to the best of my knowledge, my Dad said he "might" come on Monday... but that he'd let me know.

This was how today played out:

6:40- wake up, let the dogs out
6:50- work on dishes from dinner last night that I hadn't finished
7:10- play on FB
7:20- E wakes up, wants to play with dogs
7:30- shower, get self ready while E plays with dogs
8:00- get E ready, pack lunch
8:20- get ready to leave, then Abby's Flying Fairy School comes on, so I agree to wait a bit, which makes us on the verge of being late
8:21- justify waiting, because Mom calls and I can talk to her while E watches AFFS
8:26- now late, rush out door, fasten E in carseat
8:27- phone rings... it's Daddy... he's about 2 exits from W-S.  Super... because I have a DR's appointment at 8:45... and I'm 100% sure he won't want to go with me to said-appointment.
8:30- drop E at friend's house who will take her to school
8:35- drive quickly to DR's appointment
8:50- arrive at appointment late, because that's the way the morning played out... I blame Abby Cadabby.
**Doctor's Appointment- fairly typical- except I do burst into tears when she asks "So how have you been lately?"  Yep... that's all it takes.  We talk about Mary, then she asks if I've had any new health concerns this year.  I say no.  Then I remember... "Oh wait!  Yeah, I did have a 6 cm. tumor on my kidney in March.  Want to see the scar?"**
9:30ish- drive as fast as I can to meet Daddy at the church where he is waiting on me
9:30-10:00- introduce him around church, proud of him for the moment he uses the word "butt" because he realized he was in church
10:00-12:00- run errands with Daddy: Costco, Target, Verizon, bank, go pick up carseat
12:00-1:00- lunch with Daddy
1:00- pick up E at school
1:00-1:45 play with Alphie, E, and Dadaw
1:45- Daddy/Dadaw leaves, and my heart is full

Now, other than the dishes that got done first thing this morning, I haven't gotten jack done today.  And, believe me, I have TONS to do.

But you know what?  I've had the best day.

Over the last month I've realized how unimportant even my important "things to do" are.  Far more important is spending time with the people I love the most in life... and today was a beautiful example of that.  So even though I was a bit surprised that Daddy arrived when he did, who cares.  What a freeing way to live- to live in the moment and enjoy the people around you.

I am *sure*, because I learn things so easily, that this novel idea will stick.  I'm sure I will put my to-do list on hold when I need to, right?

(You're welcome to call my bluff when it's appropriate.)

Besties.

Yesterday, Elizabeth told me she had more best friends than I do.

I beg to differ.

At the end of her "list", she started naming babysitters, baby sisters, and mommas of her friends.  While I might say she was stretching it, she may have, um, learned that from me.

She may just have learned that loads of different people can be your "best" friend.

I talked before about the differences I see in my "best friends".  In elementary school, I was BFFs with whoever was in my class.  In middle school, it was a lot based on classes as well, but we had a little more flexibility.  Then high school, and everyone was fair game.  College?  Piece of cake.  Here's my problem: I keep picking up new best friends and not letting any of the old ones go.  (Dan always jokes that I don't let anyone leave my life.  Bag my groceries at Food Lion?  I'll send you a Christmas card..)

Tonight, in fact, 2 of my best friends called me out on Facebook when I posted that I was making dinner for 4 of my best friends... saying that they'd not been invited.  Confusing, isn't it?

The friends- my besties- who I celebrated tonight are unique.  I referenced them in the Community post before.  These are the ladies who I share my life with.  We decided 2 years ago to meet weekly for Bible study, accountability, and fellowship.  We have been together through major and minor life ordeals: ambulance calls, trips to nudie beaches, whatever.  We've celebrated 2 years of birthdays together- each one of us getting our own special day to feel, well, special.  We've gone out for fondue, attempted to get tattoos, had pretend-spa activities, gone to musicals... 10 separate events of fun, fun, fun.

This year, however, we've decided to reign in the Birthday Wagon.  We started a new tradition... one which I would gladly share with any of my other besties.  We decided rather than spend lots of time, energy, and money to celebrate each one of us- which, let's be honest, we all deserve given that we are spectacular- we would spend time blessing each other.

And that's what we did.

We started the year of birthdays with Lesley's, which was back in October, but the last month has been so nutso for me that we've been unable to get together until now.  We had a yummy dinner complete with some of Les's favorite foods.  Then, we each went around and "blessed" Lesley by telling her what it is about her we love and respect.  Well, in theory we did that.  What actually happened was we had Laurie read what we'd written, but it worked anyway.  We were present as Lesley was praised for they way she is an amazing mother, an amazing pray-er, an amazing friend... wait... strike that.  We were present as God was praised for the way He has made Lesley.  It was a beautiful thing, and we are all blessed to know her.

In addition to that, we laughed at old videos, told stories from our Thanksgivings, laughed about turkeys, loved on my new dog, and enjoyed being together.

What a beautiful thing.

As I was preparing what I was going to "say" about Lesley, I told Dan that I hope one day to be the kind of person that someone would be able to say those same things about me.   That's when I realized that I guess my Mom was right: "You're known by the company you keep."  Which makes me thankful for these 4 besties, and all the rest of the BFFs I've picked up along the way.

By the company I keep, I'd say I'm doing just fine.

Hopefully one day all of their your super qualities will rub off on me.  Hopefully one day I will become the amazing person that many of you are.  For now, I'll enjoy time with you- be it in person playing Bunko, playing with our children, praying, or having coffee- or virtually via FB and email.  I'll see the good things in you and hope to become cool like you.  Or,  I'll just enjoy your coolness... because it's a blessing to know you.

Want to be my new best friend?

a stream of thankfulness

(stolen from my friend over at leclaw.blogspot.com)

Elizabeth's Thankfulness
T- tree
H- hug
A- Alphie
N- (k)nufflebunny
K- Kate
S- snake (because that's what God made, so we're thankful for it.)
G- God
I- ice cream
V- veterinarian
I- ice
N- nose
G- Grover

Becky's Thankfulness
T- time with family
H- happy hour
A- apple cider
N- new pens
K- Kindermusik
S- students
G- gift closet
I- iTunes
V- vino
I- invitations
N- new puppies
G- "good girl" (what E keeps saying to Alphie)

** Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.**