Hark, The Sound....

I've lived in 3 places my whole life.  Asheville, Chapel Hill, and now Winston.  Asheville was the longest, ringing in at 18.5 years.  Chapel Hill made it 8 years.  And now, I've been in Winston 8.5... longer than Chapel Hill.  Weird.

Usually if I say I'm "homesick", it's for Asheville... which I love.  But Winston has truly become home now, and I'm content here.

Tonight, however, I'm homesick for the land of Carolina Blue.

I came home from a super time with some girlfriends at the call of Dan telling me that Elizabeth had thrown up three times.  At last count, we're up to eight nine.

From the time that E was born, I would sing her some of my favorite songs as lullabies.  Sure, we had the traditional "Rock-a-bye Baby" and "Hush Little Baby", but our own songs were "Elizabeth" by the Statler Brothers, "Carolina In My Mind" by James Taylor, "My Jesus, I Love Thee" by any good Baptist Hymnal, and "Hark, The Sound"... by any self-respecting Carolina Grad.

In between wiping her mouth and rinsing out the trashcan tonight, I've been singing my baby "my" lullabies.  What calms her most- which was the only song that would soothe her when she was colicky- is "Hark The Sound".  After getting soothed myself in the music (which happens to be the same tune they sing at the end of "Dirty Dancing"... "at Kellerman's the friendships last long as the mountain stands"), I decided to try to find a good rendition on YouTube.  Home of all good media, right?

Looking through all of the Chapel Hill "stuff", I got sucked in... and I got homesick.

So, coming to you live from Mommy's Bed of Sick Girls, I bring you: my blue heaven.


It's amazing to me that 8.5 years later, I can conjure up memories from EVERY place he films.  Each step/location has something associated with it.  Amazing.



I'm sad this starts late, because I know E would love this version.


I cry nearly every time I watch this.



And somehow, I stumbled upon this one...

All you haters?  This post is not for you.  Seriously.  I'm not trying to begin some ACC fight, I don't want to hear your thoughts on my alma mater's basketball team, I am not looking to discuss your thoughts on your school versus mine.

This post is for me... and for those of you who understand that there is nothing better than Cheddar Munchers with an Orangeade at Sutton's; those know know that peeing in an alley on Franklin Street on Halloween somehow feels normal; those that think that Cafe Trio Shakes were straight from heaven; those who know that beer tastes better in a Blue Cup or at Bub's; whose who understand that the Old Well really can be beautiful every day; those of you, like me, that can smell your dorm lobby if you think about it really hard... and who miss (Janice) who cleaned; those of us fortunate enough to understand that the omelets at "Downstairs Lenoir" can rival those at Grove Park Inn; those of you who experienced the Pit Preacher who pissed you off and made you sad in the same moment; those of you who knew that magic could happen in the Upstairs Union or in Large Group; those of you who spent hours in Suite C; those of you who thought that the Undergrad was super fun to hang out in... and you're jealous of those whippersnappers that get to do Flash Mobs there; those of you that wondered why the crap you had to walk allll the way across campus to get to Student Health; those of us who remember that the walk home from the Dean Dome was either a magical moment or... well, miserable; those of us that giggled every time you passed someone doing the walk of shame- unless it was you; those that still call it "Smurf Village" even though there is some other sign out front; those that miss The Ultimate from Yogurt Pump; and those of you who know what a perfect spring day feels like... this post, my friend, is for you.

I'm a Tarheel born.

Mean Girls

I've blogged before about how tumultuous adolescence was as a girl.  I'll stand behind it... it's still true.  But tonight as I was at Book Club, several of us shared experiences of times as an adult when girls have been just as brutal.

WHY?  For the love of God... WHY?

Whether in organized events (read= organized meanness), social clubs (read= social meanness), or just as friends who say and do mean things (read= meanness), it appears that it's universal... girls are mean to other girls.  Apparently Tyra did a show about it.  We've talked about it.  I've blogged about it... so why do we do it?!?!?!?

I know why-- Insecurity.  Jealousy.... oh, wait, that goes back to insecurity.

Tell me, ladies... what were some moments that you remember where people tore you down?  And, on the flip side, what were moments where people built you up?  I'll start... my first big memory of being torn down was 6th grade when people called me "Big Butt Becky" supposedly behind my back.  But I heard them.  And, no, I don't think it's funny if you call me that now.  I will not laugh.  I will possibly even cry.  From that drama, a special teacher built me back up by pouring into me that I was a leader and could make a difference.  I bought it- hook, line, and sinker.

Now, it's your turn.  Seriously... welcome to group therapy.  Share your pivotal moments here:

Dear Diary....

This is a boring blog post.  I'll just tell you that now.  I'm going to proceed to tell you what my weekend was like.

Friday:
New Hair Day!  I had to reschedule my hair appointment to Friday because of snow earlier in the week.  I told Jenn, who I love, that I wanted to do something new with my hair.  I kinda meant a cut.  She kinda meant a color.  Jenn, who I love, said to me, "Do you trust me?" and I said... yes.  Now, along with my new face bling, I am the proud recipient of hair that is way funkier than I am.

color not as "drastic" in real life... 

the flash added some shine

I, and my new hair, had the joy of going on a triple date on Friday night with some old friends and some new-ish friends.  We went to Brixx, grabbed some coffee, and went to see my boyfriend (Kevin James) in a movie with my girlfriend (Queen Latifah)... it was cute.

the boys... who all look photoshopped.

Saturday, I had the privilege to co-host a baby shower for one of my best friends, bridesmaids, and former roomies.  Jenny and I ended up randomly living together after running into each other at a Barenaked Ladies concert.  During the year we lived together, we became fast friends... and Jenny got a front-row seat in my relationship with Dan.  (I honestly thought he was "into" her when we first started dating!)  Her baby shower was at a Tea House in Kernersville and was just... lovely.  I am so excited to meet her baby girl in just a couple short months!

amazing cake by Lindsay!

diaper cake (that fell apart)

tasty treats!

former 1204 ladies

Sunday, I attended a shower for another dear friend- Carrie.  Carrie is two weeks (!!!) away from having her third baby.  And believe me... we love to throw a party for babies!  The food was amazing, Carrie got a ton of loot, and, well... I made my favorite new blog-find: Salted Caramel Brownie Bites.  Oh.  My.  Word.

seriously good stuff.

so, my camera was dying as Laurie was taking our picture...

we didn't get a good one, but several funny ones

Last night, the students came over and it was just a good time.  They have all grown leaps and bounds in the last 17 days... it's been fun to be around such rapid and exciting growth.

Today, I fixed a yummy (if I do say so myself) lunch for some friends.  Then I was unable to enjoy it due to my third-ever migraine.  As soon as they left, I ran upstairs, got violently ill, then went to sleep until 5pm.

So I'm totally jacked up now.

A weekend of fun friends, a weekend of sickness (migraine AND allergies AND asthma... oh my...), and now I feel like I'm entering crunch time until we go to Disney.  Still trying to stay focused.  Still trying to keep it all in perspective.  Trying to figure out how God wants me to spend my time these days... wonder if He's cool with me using some of it to blog...

Prosperity Gospel

Asthma.  It sucks.  Literally.

So, here I am, up in the middle of the night... and with basic cable, my options on TV are mind-numbingly horrid.  I can either watch an infomercial or a religious program.... and neither of them are the "good" ones.

For the last little bit, I've listened to a man (who is quite scary) take scripture that I know and love and preach to his "flock" about how said-scripture will bless their families.... er, um... financially?

Whut.

Several of you are familiar with the whole "Prosperity Gospel" movement... but let me tell you... it's... ummm... bullcrap.

Yes, God will bless you when you serve Him.  For sure.  But don't serve Him hoping to be blessed FINANCIALLY.  It's crap.

Wow, hot of the presses... he "sowed a seed" and was immediately blessed (just seven minutes later!) with a check for $20,000.  Guess I should quit blogging and go garden... my bank account needs it.

Why being married sucks...

(No, Heather W., this is not a cry for help.  Do not pick up your phone to call a divorce attorney.)

So, Dan is my biggest fan.  Being my biggest fan, he is also my biggest critic.  After yesterday's blog post (don't try to look for it, I deleted it) he said "are you sure about that?" in that luring way that made me think he knew something I didn't.

Apparently he did.

I wrote from my heart... and apparently scared people that something in my life was falling apart (which it often is), so I just deleted it.  End of story.

Tonight, Dan is in even more trouble.  I'll get there... but let me give you some background:

For years now, I've had a recurring dream that we have an entire wing of our house that we don't use.  Sometimes in the dream I'm living back in the RMH and if you go through the guest room, you find this hidden wing.  Sometimes it's our current house, and I find out there's a whole 'nother area that we don't actually know about.  It's magical.  And, I won't lie, when I wake up I'm often disappointed that I don't have that space.

I'm not psychiatrist, but I think that dream stems from the fact that I have a WHOLE FLOOR of my home that doesn't get properly "used".  Downstairs we have two enclosed rooms (and some bonus storage under the stairs) that end up being junk rooms.  One is a room purely for storage... it has been less than functional for the nearly 3 years we've been here.  One is a random room that houses our treadmill and Ms. Pac-man game and liquor cabinet and gift closet.  (This sounds like the perfect room, huh?)  Recently it's where Dan's mom unloaded boxes and boxes of his childhood crap (don't hear me say that my mom hasn't already done that same nasty trick) and our other stuff has been just, well, cluttered on top of that.

So today, on the perfect day for such a task, I conquered the downstairs rooms.  If I were cool, I would show you a before, during, and after picture.  However, I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed by the "before", I wouldn't let the paparazzi downstairs to capture it in all it's glory.  The "during" was one giant purging and sneeze fest.  And now the "after" is, well, still "during" to be honest.  While I will take some time away for it for now, it will need some attention later.  But, all that said, I spent over FIVE HOURS pouring through the crap of my Americanized Hoarding Pack Rat Emotional self and could not feel better about that time.

While all that was happening, Dan was upstairs with Elizabeth... watching TV, reading books, watching videos to prep her to ride "Test Track" in a few weeks, baking homemade cookies, playing dolls (don't tell him I told you that), playing Jenga, and being the recipient of loads and loads of unexpected kisses.

For sure, I chose to be downstairs cleaning.

And, for sure, I am jealous of Dan's day.

Now, 60% of the time, Dan goes to work and leaves me to have my own days with E.  However, I live by lists... and if I took entire days doing what he did today, we would run out of groceries, never have clean clothes, never have paid bills, and lose touch with all of our family and friends.  But why can't I grasp the simplicity of how he chose to spend his day and at least have more days that are kinda like that?

Here's the rub: given the chance to do today over, I would still choose to clean downstairs.  Seriously, people, it's been YEARS in the making... and it affects my stress level constantly... but why do I feel as though I am talking about both sides of my mouth here?

So, with an exhausted mind and body, I went to bed before Dan did.  I grabbed my book (an excellent read that I bought someone for Christmas and they've already passed back to me!) and crawled in bed... and soon after fell asleep.

Here comes the hard part: Captain Dan, unaware that I am asleep (as I am still in the "reading" posture) comes in and loudly says "Have you looked outside lately?!?!?!?"  (He wanted me to check out the snow... nothing major.)

Um, nope.

Because I was asleep, dummy.

He apologizes, brushes, flosses, gets in bed, and within minutes, begins to snore.

And me?  Well, I'm now awake.  His intrusion in my dreamland has left me WIDE awake.  Left with the only logical thing to do: to blog about how much being married to him sucks.  Because it does.  It sucks to be married to a man who loves my daughter, who will constantly be her prince as she plays princess, who will allow her to pick her own ingredients for their homemade cookies, who disciplines lovingly, who helps her clean her room when she can't figure out what she's missed, who reads my blog and questions whether or not I meant to say something in the way in which I did... wait... I guess it doesn't suck.  My bad.

This post, however, will have to wait to get his discerning eye until the morning... when he wakes up... because HE IS ASLEEP AND I AM NOT.  Right, he sucks again.

I'm off to finish my book... stupid marriage.

New Years Memories (Happy New Year, take two.)

1980-1(?): Got "fake drunk" with Josh.  We drank a bottle of sparkling cider and were convinced we were drunk.

1992-3: Went into debt for the first time... borrowed money from my mom to take my boyfriend out to eat for his birthday before a lock-in with his church youth group.

1999-2000: Was at Bub's with a holy host of others standin' around me.  Laho convinced some guy to spend his new year taking our picture.

2006-7: Rang in the new year with a 2 month old baby in the "Teen Room" at the RMH.  We'd already moved out of our apartment and were staying in the Weekend Manager's room until my tenure at the house was over.

2008-9: Watched some of my favorite ladies run their first ever 5K.  Was supposed to run with them.  Cried more than I care to admit.

2010-2011: Will be going to bed early to prepare for going to the Passion Conference in Atlanta with 15 people I like a lot.  Already overwhelmed at how God has gotten us this far... can't wait to see what's next.

And here's how the other New Years tie in to my next year:
-Dan and I will pay our only credit card in a few short weeks.  Bye, bye debt.
-I plan to be more intentional about some of those folks from Bub's in 2011.  It's really in my best interest.
-We're trying to figure out how to get reacquainted with the RMH in 2011.  Our whole family needs it.
-I've signed up to re-train to run my first 5K.  Training starts the week we get back from Disney.

And getting fake drunk?  Well, that's just a given that it will happen in 2011... E and I are opening a bottle of Fizzy Welch's in about one hour...

See you on the other side of ATL.

2010- a recap.

4:36pm, sitting on the couch watching Snow White with E.

And that about sums up 2010.  It's been a year of Snow White... and some other things.

Where we've been:
-Asheville
-Wilmington
-Disney
-Kure Beach
-Sunset Beach
-Myrtle Beach
-Hilton Head
-Baptist Hospital
-Washington, DC

What we've gained:
-a tumor
-stepsisters
-weight
-clutter
-perspective

What we've lost:
-a tumor
-a stepmother
-patience
-it
-perspective

What we've learned:
-relationships are what matters most
-Elizabeth is who she is, not necessarily who I want her to be (and I usually like who she is)
-God gets us where we are by protecting us in years gone by
-we are selfish
-we are not as important as we think we should be
-we would not make it without our friends

What we've dropped the ball on:
-sending thank you notes
-sending prompt "other" notes
-most other things

What we're most thankful for:
-a relationship with Jesus that continues to be new and renew
-a child who did not come to us easily, but easily makes our life complete
-family who are friends and friends who are family

Happy New Year, Y'all....