Snow White?

When I was prepping E for my surgery, I told her that the doctors would put me to sleep.  She asked me if I would be in a glass box.  Apparently, my literal child thought I would "go to sleep" like Snow White did.

For such a child... it appears to be too tempting to have Mommy leave a (full) laundry basket (of clean clothes!) in your room.  This is what happens:

Yep.  She's sound asleep.  In her "fancy" dress... with a flower headband on.  And notice that Sleeping Beauty Bear is watching.  (Side note: Sleeping Beauty's dress was what E wore her first Halloween... we got the outfit from Build-A-Bear... and it was big on her.  My little preemie!)

And you might be wondering what happened to the clothes?

Guess what we'll be doing in the morning....

Readers? What readers?

So, let's talk about Triad Smarty Pants.

This is a super site that gives info to parents about how-to's, how-not-to's, where-to's, when-to's, what-to's... and the like.  Recently they asked for blogs to be featured on their site and I got the email that my blog was going to be posted.

Gasp.

Thus far, my "faithful readers" have been.... well... you.  People I know.  More often than not, you read my blog as an imported note on Facebook (thank you, FB).

I write this blog as therapy for me, let's not lie, but now that there are "readers", I write some of it for you, too.

And, this morning... I got it... my first comment from A STRANGER.  Yep, someone I don't know who found my blog on Triad Smarty Pants and wanted to see what I had to say.  The pressure is on.


Those of you who know me know that I like to write.  And I like to talk.  And I talk like I write and write like I talk.  People in my life who don't like sentences to start with "And"s, or don't like ellipses... or things of that nature... let me tell you now, my writing style (and talking style) is not for you.  Just last night at church someone told me I would lose my mind if I couldn't talk with my hands.  I'm kinda feeling like that "style" of writing comes across, too.  Lots of CAPITALS and italics and bolds...

So now that I've introduced myself to you properly, let's begin a lovely-bloggy-relationship, shall we?  Stay tuned, dear new readers.  You're going to meet my family.  You're going to meet my friends.  You're going to see the real way that my brain works... which is often not pretty.  Maybe you'll laugh a little, maybe not.  Maybe you'll just be thankful that you know better sentence structure than I do, which is cool.  Maybe you'll wish I had all those fancy things that "real" blogs do.  But if you're okay with me not being so fancy, we'll be just fine.  Welcome, new friend...

It's nice to meet you.

TEN.

1. Ten years ago this morning, I went to Breadman's for breakfast with lots of my gal pals.

Today, I made my daughter a milkshake for breakfast (yep) because she busted open her lip and was in bad shape.

2. Ten years ago around noon-time, I became Bridezilla and snapped at women in my life because they weren't helping me put together some signs...*they* thought *their* make-up and hair were more important. (Please read with all sarcasm... I was seeing the world through Bridezilla's eyes.)

Today, I spent time with women in my life who challenge and encourage me... who hear the truth about marriage, fertility, children, and tumors.

3. Ten years ago I gave Dan a red rose, M & Ms, and Bud Light (don't tell anyone) as a pre-wedding gift.

Today I went to Target with E and bought him a Dora game for the Wii (don't tell him)... seriously... Dora.

4. Ten years ago we announced to the world that "our song" was "Breathe".

Today we announced we were day sponsors on NPR.  Also a day sponsor today?  Dr. Jeff Deaton... our fertility doctor. :)

5. Ten years ago today, Dan was violently ill (no jokes please) during and after our wedding.  Apparently finishing up his Second Year and getting married the same week were a lot to ask of a guy.

Today, I am pleasantly getting healthier by the moment... tumor-free and thankful.

6. Ten years ago tonight, one of my besties had to come to Dan's rescue by bringing meds to our apartment on our wedding night.  (Niiiice.)

Tonight, someone will come to our house to take care of our daughter so we can go out to eat.

7. Ten years go today, I woke up beside my bestie (Andrea spent the night after the rehearsal with me.)

Today, I woke up with E getting in bed with me.

8. Ten years ago today, I watched my "family" at HillSong transform the wedding site into the reception site in a matter of minutes.

Today, I'm barely able to transform my couch into a couch and not a laundry resting site.

9. Ten years ago today, we joked that people were placing bets on whether or not we would make it.  (We'd only dated 2.5 months before we got engaged... 6 total before we were married.)

Today, we're thinking some people have to pay up.  (Who's buying the first round at Bub's?)

10. Ten years ago today, I put on a white dress (that I really didn't like, to be honest... but you get what you get when you have a super quick engagement period) and got to marry my best friend.

Today, I'm putting on a different dress (that I kinda like, to be honest... but you get what you get when you buy things on sale) and going to dinner with my best friend.  We've survived loss; we've celebrated blessings.  We've trudged through hard times; we've coasted through easy ones.  We've come to learn the importance of counseling; we've come to appreciate living in community.  We've lost 2 babies; we're raising a healthy (hysterical) one now.  We've lived in 5 homes; we've lived in 2 cities.  We've barely been able to pay bills; we've lived in abundance.  We've made new friends; we've lost old ones.  We've taken up new hobbies; we've rid ourselves of bad habits.  We've started new ministries; we've ended ministries. We've made fun of each other, laughed together, fought together, kissed and made up, and become "one" together.  And for that, I'm thankful.

A (near) perfect ten... here's to Good Enough.

Success at my Job

One of the things my Mom passed down to me was a desire to be successful.  Mom used to take me to work with her some weekends when she had stuff to get done.  The highlights for me involved getting to use the typewriter (yep) and having that wonderfully sweet hot chocolate from the machine in the breakroom.  ($0.35 never tasted so good.)  She was very accomplished at her job (I still don't know exactly what she did, but her business cards said she was the "Director of Europe", so we'll just go with "Czar" for her profession) and I grew up respecting her for that.

She taught me that I could do anything and be anything.  She never said "even though you're a girl" or any modified pep talk "in light" of my gender- I truly never knew my gender ever had anything assigned to it by the world other than I got to wear dresses when I wanted to.  "Women's rights" wasn't something I even knew about until I was taught it in school... it just was in my house.  My Mom was pretty "forward thinking", as was my church.  (Women deacons?  Gasp!  The outrage!)

My first "real" job was on church staff in Chapel Hill.  Here in Winston, I've had 3 jobs: nannying for a year for a precious, sweet boy; working at the Ronald McDonald House; and now staying home with Elizabeth.  In the future, I'd love to get back into a more "formal" sort of ministry.  But for now, here's my full-time ministry... and I freakin' love it.

I spend my days loving on this beautiful gift from God.  We waited 4.5 years for her... and she was worth every second.  I have no idea what the future holds for our family and I'm okay with that.  Right now, E and I are having a low-key day at home.  We've been reading books and watching Sesame Street.  Later, we'll make Rice Krispy treats.  Maybe I'll even put up some laundry while she naps... we'll see.  And for now, I'll claim days like today as successful.  No performance review from my employer... but a success nonetheless.  Score one for my forward thinking mom who taught me I could be anything... she taught me how to be a Mother.

A whole lot of praising to do...

Too much to say in a lengthy post, so today you get the Readers' Digest Version:

Mother's Day- 
Spent the day thankful for my Mom and thankful for being one.  I was in a pouty mood at one point until E and I celebrated with ice cream from the ice cream man.  That's something my Mom taught me... ice cream always tastes better from the truck.  One day when I was little the truck came and we didn't have any cash around.  (And when the truck came to my house it was a huge deal because we weren't in a "neighborhood"... just on a street!)  Mom felt so bad that we couldn't get ice cream that she put a change jar in the kitchen, stocked it with money, and we never had that issue again.  Lots and lots and lots of life lessons from Momma Janer, but that is one of the best and most tangible on this Mother's Day.

My gift from Dan-
Part of it came a day late... but we planted 2 things in honor of the pregnancies we lost in the past.  We've talked about planting something since we lost both babies, but at the time of the miscarriages, we weren't in our own house.  Now that we've been in our own space for 2 years, it was time.  And perfectly appropriate as I celebrate being a Mom that I remember the 2 babies I didn't get a chance to hold... but will one day meet and get to love on!  (Second part of the gift?  That we've worked on our yard all weekend... those of you who live near us can thank us that you no longer have to look at our jungle, and those of you who I've vented to about it can come enjoy some pretty-ness without all the whining.)

Speaking of things that'll make you cry-
Our BFFs, the Williamseseses, are adopting from Rwanda.  This weekend we got the chance to celebrate that (along with 200 other fun people!) at Fleet Feet with a "Fun Run" to help them raise their adoption money.  (Note, I didn't get to run, but got to see my sweet baby cross the finish line.)

Around $6000 was raised on the spot and more has been coming in since then.  It was so fun to see old friends, new friends, and even strangers pour out love on them.  It was also fun to see Emily Davis in her element!



More Mother's Day, Part 2-
So yesterday after a super fun picnic (and later visit from the Ice Cream Truck!) E and I had a great time making necklaces and bracelets.  At one point she said we could be twins.  Then she realized she wanted to have matching sets for her baby.  Now that we were 3 matching girls, we were "simplets".  (Apparently, that's what she heard when we taught her triplets.)



And, last but not least-
Today is 6 weeks.  Yep, 6 weeks ago RIGHT NOW I was in surgery.  They told me it'd take 6 weeks to recover.  I'm still not 100% (and he later told me it could take 6 months before I had all my energy back), but I'd say I'm at about 90-95%.  I can drive, lay on my right side for short periods of time, and go without pain meds.  (Although after the yard work we've done this weekend, I might need some!)  God has been so good and even taught me more this morning as I learned about "scars" in my Quiet Time.  He is a personal, real savior... and for that, I'm thankful.

ENFP

EJ is a beautiful mix of both her father and me.

Here are some of her Dan-isms... my smart, smart husband is helping raise a like-minded kid:
"I have to wipe from front to back or I'll get an infection."
"I need to eat fruits and vegetables so that I can go poopy."
"I used to have 5 pieces of cheese.  I ate 2.  That leaves 3 pieces of cheese."  (Hence why we make her eat fruits and vegetables... if the kid could have a purely cheese diet, she would.)

And, what does she get from me?

This is how she sleeps these days... surrounded with some of her  best friends.  Cause she's an ENFP... and that's how we roll.

When I grow up...

I am a needy friend.   I can pretend that I am not... but I am.


And, I think it's my Dad's fault.


When I was a little girl, my Daddy was my hero.  A total pain in my tail, yes, but still just the *best*.  I was (and still am) a Daddy's girl.  Some days I have no idea why... and then sometimes I remember- because I am just like him.  (Example?: Elizabeth got on the phone with him a few weeks ago and said, "Dadaw, can I come to your house sometime?"  Being 3, she knew he would immediately say yes... cause that's what Grandparents do, right?  Not my Dad.  After a lengthy pause when she was anticipating a yes he said, "No, probably not."  He gave her just the amount of time to let that register before they both started laughing... then E said "You're teasing, right?"  Yep.  I didn't fall far from that sarcastic tree.)


With all of the things Daddy taught me in life (add V-8 to chili, never let the truth get in the way of a good story, beer before liquor- never sicker, etc.), he taught me this:  at all cost, you take care of people.


He lived, by example, putting the needs of others ahead of his own (and sometimes mine, too.)   He showed me how to take meals to people when they are sick or in need.  He took a day off of work one day when, after giving a man and his son a ride to school when their car had broken down, he realized this man was in need of new clothes.  After school that day he picked me up and told me he'd spent a good part of the day in the mall with this man, supplying he and his family with nearly a new wardrobe.  And he always made gestures like that teachable: "It's just what you do, Doodle."


So because of that example, that's how I try to live.  That, coupled with the whole "well, God commands us to do it", too, part.


Because of that, I think I have expectations that others will do the same.  When they don't, I get my feelings hurt.  Which is NOT what my Daddy would want me to do. 


Today, I was blessed with 2 like-minded givers:  My dear friend, Beth, drove from Chapel Hill to have lunch with me.  Beth and I were on church staff together... and, God bless her, I'm likely the main reason she wasn't able to be more efficient with her time during the years 1998-2002.  Her office was right beside mine and I had to pass her desk to get to my office every day.  Yet she never (well, mostly never) pushed me toward my office if I stopped to talk.  She made time for me in her life.  She knew my friends.  She spoke my language.  And today, she showed up with homemade soup (because she'd made it for me in the past and remembered I liked it) and a decorated cup (!! yay !!) full of various candy because she couldn't remember what my favorite kind was.  Every time I am around her, I leave her presence refreshed.


This afternoon, my sweet friend Tina came by to drop off something she'd earlier done for me.  A couple weeks ago she said "Look, I am going to help you... so help me help you... tell me what I can do to help, or I'll make something up."  I asked her to run an errand for me that I wasn't able to do, and today she was returning for me what she'd picked up.  Along with a McDonald's hot fudge sundae (heaven in a plastic cup) and a side of homemade brownies.  Ladies from MOMS will remember me telling the story of Tina swooping in after our last miscarriage, too, with similarly helpful gestures.


It's just what you do, Doodle.


I've had so many helpful friends who have supported us during the last month... our next-door neighbor mowed our yard without our asking.  (Dan told me to tell him I'll be sick until October.  I am not looking a gift-mower in the mouth!)  My friend Joanie refused to take my lack of a response as an answer and, similarly to Tina, said "I'm coming. You tell me what food you want me to bring."  I've had flowers, stationery, CDs, books, nightgowns, scarves, DVDs, alligators,  food, etc. delivered... and you people apparently know how to speak my love language.


 I am blessed beyond measure.  I have been surprised constantly at how many people love the way I need to be loved- the way my earthly Daddy taught me to and the way my heavenly Father expects.  It hurts me to not be be the caretaker right now that I want to be, but as my fave author, Jen Hatmaker said via Facebook last week: Heal, heal, heal...in the meantime, revel in the fact that others are doing your laundry and loving your people. A true gift that most people never experience...

So, now I spend my evenings writing thank you notes.  And enjoying showing my daughter what it's like to be not only the giver, but the receiver of blessings.  There are some she is more than happy to accept.

One final thought... (I'm way wordier than you are, Jenni...)  My sweet friend, Marie, kept my daughter all day yesterday when I was just unable to be a recovering-patient and be a Mom at the same time.  This is the 3rd or 4th time she's done that in the last few weeks.  


After she dropped E off and left I went to check the mail.  Marie's mom, who I really don't know all that well, had sent me a Get Well card... with a restaurant gift certificate inside.  Speaking of apples not falling far from their (good influence) trees...


When I grow up, I will likely still be a needy friend.  But I pray that I will have taught my daughter, by example, how to take care of her needy friends.  I want her to love others in the model of Marie's, and Beth's, and Tina's, and all of these other super friends I have. It's how I want her to live.... because it's just what you do.


*** Please know, I get so nervous when I give shout-outs because there are so many of you I could never possibly shout-out enough all the things you've done for us.  So, take that as a big fat thank you, k?  I love you all. ****