I cannot begin to tell you how many times people say to me, "I know you're busy, but..."
Or, that comment's first cousin, "I hate to bother you..."
Both of those things make me cringe. Because they scream to the world that I think "What I am doing is far more important than what you would ask of me." And that's just not true.
The only thing that happens when I get busy is that I get scattered.
-and forget to take a friend to school this week who I'd offered to take.
-and forget I'd said we could have a playdate with another friend.
-and forget to take a Christmas gift to a friend even though it's the only one I have left and it's been sitting by the door for 3 weeks.
-and forget that we've got laundry in the dryer... and now it's wrinkled.
The only way I know to combat this scattered-ness (it's a word, people... just don't try to play it on Words With Friends... they will say it's 'unacceptable') is to make lists. That's just what I did today. Dan and I dropped E off at a birthday party (yay me for remembering!) and went to Starbucks with my favorite list-ing (bite me, WWF) notebook and a plan.
We organized:
-our grocery lists
-our packing lists
-our "to do" lists
-and our calendar.
All of those things meet my immediate need: to get organized and not forget things. But the bigger need is making sure that my to-dos line up with my priorities.
I "say" I want to love God first and people second. So, then, how am I spending my time?
I "say" that I'm supposed to be connected to my neighborhood. So, then, when was the last time I had them over?
I "say" I want to spend less and save more. So, then, how does my bank statement agree with that?
I "say" I want people to around me to feel encouraged by my friendship. So, then, how do they feel when I don't respond to texts/phone calls/emails... all because it slips my mind?
In the last few weeks we've gotten our home in a far better working order than it's been in months... years? We've finished our paperwork for Foster Stuff (thanks for checking in, all of you who have... sorry if I've not responded.) We've eaten at home more than out. We've exercised more than recent months. We've analyzed our time/talents/resources...
We want to be "intentional"...
... but we don't want others to think that we're too busy for them.
There's the rub.
Being intentional is one of the many things my fake gal-pal Jen Hatmaker rips apart in her newest book, "7". Think I loved her before? Oh, lawsy... that was just the tip of the iceberg. It's like she took Dan's Simple Living and my communication style and they both had a baby and it's this book. Tomorrow- or later this week, let's be honest- I'll give you a full "review" of some of the things I gained from "7". But tonight I want you all to know these things:
1. Yes, I probably did get your email/message/text.
2. No, I'm not ignoring you. (Or mad at you, right K?)
3. I honestly probably got distracted (hey look! a squirrel!) and forgot to respond.
4. No, I don't screen my calls when you call. Well, maybe for you... but not everyone else.
5. Yes, I'm still working on those thank you notes to let you know how much I/we/E appreciated that thing you did for us/gave to us/whatever.
6. Yes, we are done with our Foster paperwork. Now it's being sent to the state for approval. We'll let you know when we hear something.
And finally (because good things come in 7's....)
7. Yes, I really would like to hang out. I know you think I'm too busy for you because you see me frantically trying to get things done. That just means I'm scattered... but not too busy for you. Just ask me for coffee/wine/chocolate and I'll see what my calendar allows.
Night, y'all. Off to do more laundry.
Or, that comment's first cousin, "I hate to bother you..."
Both of those things make me cringe. Because they scream to the world that I think "What I am doing is far more important than what you would ask of me." And that's just not true.
The only thing that happens when I get busy is that I get scattered.
-and forget to take a friend to school this week who I'd offered to take.
-and forget I'd said we could have a playdate with another friend.
-and forget to take a Christmas gift to a friend even though it's the only one I have left and it's been sitting by the door for 3 weeks.
-and forget that we've got laundry in the dryer... and now it's wrinkled.
The only way I know to combat this scattered-ness (it's a word, people... just don't try to play it on Words With Friends... they will say it's 'unacceptable') is to make lists. That's just what I did today. Dan and I dropped E off at a birthday party (yay me for remembering!) and went to Starbucks with my favorite list-ing (bite me, WWF) notebook and a plan.
We organized:
-our grocery lists
-our packing lists
-our "to do" lists
-and our calendar.
All of those things meet my immediate need: to get organized and not forget things. But the bigger need is making sure that my to-dos line up with my priorities.
I "say" I want to love God first and people second. So, then, how am I spending my time?
I "say" that I'm supposed to be connected to my neighborhood. So, then, when was the last time I had them over?
I "say" I want to spend less and save more. So, then, how does my bank statement agree with that?
I "say" I want people to around me to feel encouraged by my friendship. So, then, how do they feel when I don't respond to texts/phone calls/emails... all because it slips my mind?
In the last few weeks we've gotten our home in a far better working order than it's been in months... years? We've finished our paperwork for Foster Stuff (thanks for checking in, all of you who have... sorry if I've not responded.) We've eaten at home more than out. We've exercised more than recent months. We've analyzed our time/talents/resources...
We want to be "intentional"...
... but we don't want others to think that we're too busy for them.
There's the rub.
Being intentional is one of the many things my fake gal-pal Jen Hatmaker rips apart in her newest book, "7". Think I loved her before? Oh, lawsy... that was just the tip of the iceberg. It's like she took Dan's Simple Living and my communication style and they both had a baby and it's this book. Tomorrow- or later this week, let's be honest- I'll give you a full "review" of some of the things I gained from "7". But tonight I want you all to know these things:
1. Yes, I probably did get your email/message/text.
2. No, I'm not ignoring you. (Or mad at you, right K?)
3. I honestly probably got distracted (hey look! a squirrel!) and forgot to respond.
4. No, I don't screen my calls when you call. Well, maybe for you... but not everyone else.
5. Yes, I'm still working on those thank you notes to let you know how much I/we/E appreciated that thing you did for us/gave to us/whatever.
6. Yes, we are done with our Foster paperwork. Now it's being sent to the state for approval. We'll let you know when we hear something.
And finally (because good things come in 7's....)
7. Yes, I really would like to hang out. I know you think I'm too busy for you because you see me frantically trying to get things done. That just means I'm scattered... but not too busy for you. Just ask me for coffee/wine/chocolate and I'll see what my calendar allows.
Night, y'all. Off to do more laundry.
1 comment:
Absolutely could have written this myself. I am so overwhelmed and always in fear of letting others down. My husband always gives me a hard time and tells me that people will understand. But I still beat myself up about it. If only there were three of me, then maybe I could be the one person I want to be!
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