Friday, June 17, 2011

What the What

A friend at E's preschool asked me this week if I was "Back to normal" after my trip to Africa.  I laughed, then said, "Yes.... normal, but not calm."

I tend to wait for things to slow down in my our world... and they tend to never do just that.

I have finally just embraced the madness... and now I roll with it.

3 days after getting home from Africa, I got the update that the people who were graciously giving us some furniture for our soon-to-be-Foster-kids-room needed us to get it out of their house quickly.  So, not yet used to Eastern Standard Time, I hauled my self to Home Depot and bought a beautiful gallon of "Celery Ice."  I/we painted the room last week and finished the tree (cute room theme, yay!) this past weekend.  On Wednesday night with the help of some college student friends, we moved in furniture that will provide safety and security in our home for the kids God plans to send our way.

And I was thrilled with all of it.

Then I saw the crib coming up the steps.




We have told the agency that we could take any age under 5.  That clearly means that one of those ages could be a crib-needing one.  We knew this, made arrangements, got a crib, and started figuring out where everything will go.  All of this made logical sense in my head.  Even while I was in Africa, I started praying that God would, indeed, bring us a baby.  I got to watch my new friends, the Rutledges, take care of Baby Hope and it reignited a flame in me to care for a wee one. 

In my mind, I knew we could likely "get" a baby.

Then, in my heart, I watched that crib get brought into my house.

Holy conflicting thoughts, Batman.

Instantly I remembered the pain of longing for children and not being able to conceive.  And in the same moment I instantly felt peace that we will provide a safe place for a child we have not conceived.  My heart was both thrilled and hurting in the same moment.

Seriously... a crib... in my house.  Do y'all understand how bizarre that is?!?!?

Just an update because many of you guys have asked our time table: we begin our MAPP classes in July.  We will finish those in the beginning of August (on Dan's birthday!)  We will wait, then, to go through the motions of the agency/State to see who will be joining or "normal" life here.  And, those of you who have asked for pictures of the new room... I will post them when I find the perfect pillow for the bed and feel like the room is "done."  Ha!

I have no idea what the next season of life for us will look like.  I do know this- it will be as normal as it's ever been... we're not normal, we don't claim to be... we just roll with it. 

A crib... in my house... what the what....


Janie said...

Becky, I don't think you ever get over that feeling of wanting a baby in your life once you have been through the "can't have one" crisis. Every now and then I think, I could house a single mom with her baby . . . someday that may just happen!

Sarah said...

Thank you for including a link to your previous post . . . I hate that you guys went through all that you did to get to the awesome place you are now. Geesh, life would be so awesome if we could skip the incredibly sucky parts.

Joy: said...

Oh I just laughed so hard at this! I am about to write a blog post myself about something, and it seemed so crazy that God insisted that I come over here and read your post first. Now it makes perfect sense. I guess I should go and write my post now...

Rutledge 7 said...

hope has been an amazing addition... we thought our chances of getting a baby were than 1%! and many thought the same! low and behold the Lord had different plans and we have a laughing, diaper wearing, bundle of joy, speed crawling BABY in the house and we love it! you go right back to baby mode and it is good!