My Funny Child

Dan asked me tonight why I hadn't shared E's best quote from her birthday weekend.  My mom recently returned from a trip to England and brought Elizabeth a Tudor Bear:

It's similar to this Tudor (girl) bear.  And the conversation went a little like this:

Us: E!  That Teddy Bear is from London!  It's a Tudor Bear!
E: Why is it called a Tooter Bear if it doesn't Toot?

Love a literal child.

Today I took that literal child to a playdate for her class.  Due to a variety of reasons, we were the only ones there from school.  (Other kids were there, just none that we knew.)  I'd pumped it up to E all day that we were going on a playdate with her school friends (my bad... you'd think I'd have learned by now.)  It wasn't until we were getting in the car and leaving that she realized no one had shown up.  And she was fine with it.

I prayed later this afternoon that she'd always remain that way.  That my child who loves people so much, who gives in to peer pressure even now (that's how she decided she'd get her pink extensions... because Amelia and McKenna were doing it...), who desires to much to be a part of something-- that my sweethearted child will always be okay when it's just her.  When it's just us.

People ask us a minimum of once a week if we are going to have more children.  Here's the big secret: we don't know.  As of today, we'd say not likely... at least not biologically.  My heart is full with our family of 3 (well, 4 if you count Webster) for now.  We're "good" with where we are.  We prayed for God to give us a child and He did.  We also know that we're not called to isolate ourselves as our family of 3.  That God has wired us to give and serve... maybe that will be shown to us in ways of taking in people who need the love we have to give.  Maybe that will be in supporting those who need resources (time, energy, money) that we have to give.  Maybe that will be something totally different than we think it is now (which is likely... because God tends to work that way with us)... but we're cool with it.  We're good.  We'll keep you posted.

For now, we'll enjoy our child who thinks a bear should be more appropriately named.  The same child who, tonight during dinner (when she was sad I'd grilled her sandwich instead of it being non-grilled) said "Daddy, I think I'd rather sit here and cry."  The same child who drew a picture yesterday of her best friend and when I asked her who it was she said "Mommy."  The same child who I brought home from the hospital 4 years ago tonight.  Holy Tudor Bear, Batman... time flies.

Snow White Hangover

This weekend we partied like rock stars... short, little Disney rock stars.

My child has been in love with Snow White since her first Disney Days...


Let me stop you right there...
(Give me a second while I get on my Momma-defending-self-justification Soapbox...)

Yes, we took our child to Disney World when she'd just recently turned 2.  And I'd do it all over again.  Yes, we heard everyone as they told us she might be too young.  Yes, there were moments in the trip I wish I could have reasoned with her (have you ever tried to reason with a 2 year old?)  But overall we had an amazing trip.  And she still remembers tons about it.  Seriously, she does.

We returned to Disney World when she'd just turned 3.  She remembers even more about that trip:



(Here they were comparing dresses...)

I'm not sure why she loves this princess so much, but she's been OBSESSED with her for over 2 years now.  The irony is, back in the day when I bought my Halloween costume from Eckerd Drugs, I *had* to be Snow White because of my dark hair.  And now, E can't get enough of her.

So we invited her (Snow White) to E's birthday party.  From the moment Snow White "confirmed" she could come, E was ecstatic.  The morning I knew for sure Snow White could come, I went to wake her up and our conversation went like this:

me: Guess who I invited to your birthday party and who said they could come?
E: Who?
me: SNOW WHITE!
(pause)
E: HOW did you get back from Disney World SO FAST?
me: No, I just emailed her.
(another pause)
E: Cool.  (Because, of course, her mom would have Snow White's email addy, right?)

Hey, remember me... up here on my Momma-defending-self-justification Soapbox?  Let's talk about this whole kids birthday party thing while we're at it...

I am NOT into parties that are made to impress the parents.  I am NOT into parties that are trying to one-up each other, or even your own kid's last birthday party.  I am NOT into making your 2 year-old's party look like My Super Sweet Sixteen.

But I AM into throwing parties.  I would throw a party for Halloween, Christmas, Arbor Day, Tuesday, Noon... basically give me an occasion and I'll throw a party.  I love hosting Bunko, Happy Hour, Supper Club, Bible Study... give me a reason to have people over and I'll do it.  My house is nearly never spotless, the preparations are nearly never perfect, but I love it.  Like, love it so much I could marry it.

Since I love throwing parties so much, and I love this little miracle of mine so much, you better believe I'll have a good time throwing her birthday party.

Her first birthday party was at McDonald's and the kid's who came donated to the RMH instead of bringing gifts.  (Try that with my gift-obsessed 4 year old... riiiiiiiight.  We're working on it, people, but we're not there yet.)

Her cute bday cake was a hamburger!  (And from Harris Teeter!)


Her second birthday we had a Halloween Carnival in the backyard.  (This is one I'd gladly do again and again... so easy, so fun, and all those kids in their costumes!)

We borrowed a popcorn machine and rented a cotton candy machine... and a dunk tank.  So fun!


Her third birthday we went to the Children's Museum.   She'd gotten hooked on the book Pinkalicious, and since the Museum is all about reading, it was a perfect Pinkalicious party-combo.

Dewey's made the cupcakes that I still dream about... mmm....


This year's party kind of was kind of a no-brainer.  We owned the dress.  We loved the princess.  Why not do a Snow White theme?  I printed the invitations, enlisted the help of my friend Lindsay who makes cakes, bought a bag of Cheetos, and we were off...

We had 3 rooms of things for the kids to do:

A wishing well...

The messy dwarves house that the girls cleaned up...


The diamond mine where the girls "mined" for diamonds.

All of those events lasted about 20 minutes. Then... the main event.

Snow White arrived.

Captivated.

They sang and danced.... and were entranced.

Then there was this amazing cake:

-it tasted as good as it looked.  Along with it there were these:

"poisoned apple" cupcakes.

And you know what?  All of it? Best. Birthday. Money. I've. Spent. Yet.

Seriously.

Three things:
A. I'll go ahead and make this shameless plug: Get "Snow White" (or her alternate friends) to come to your child's gig.  It's worth the money.

B. I'm happy to get you Lindsay's info for cakes, too.  Holla at a sista....

C. Now I'll tell you this: mock if you will, but I'm down with throwing parties for my girl.  I never seek to be the biggest, the best, the most elaborate, the most expensive, or even the most creative... but I do seek to celebrate my girl and have fun- both for her and me- while doing it.

I love the idea of how-many-is-enough kids at a party (their age + one extra friend... so this year we should have had 5 friends), and how-much-is-enough to spend (I don't have a formula for this one)... but let's be honest... I can't do it.  I am looking forward to the days where E wants to have slumber parties.  I can't wait for Skate-A-Round USA type parties.  I won't lie, Chuck E. Cheese doesn't make me cringe.  (Unless it's a weekend night, then I'd rather pry my fingernails off with a rusty nail... that, my friends, is pure hell.)  I love parties- big kid ones, little kid ones, whatever.

My kid loved it, and so did I... even if I have a wee bit of a Snow White Hangover.

Or, maybe you should just call me "Sleepy".


*****************************
Disclaimer #1: I am fully aware of the need in this world... big and small.  Please don't hear my justification of my child's birthday parties as a way that I am saying spending this silly money is more important than doing "bigger" things.  It's not.  It's silly, and it's fun.  It's not the most important thing we spend our money on at all... let me make that clear.

Disclaimer #2: No, this is not directed at YOU.  After this post, I got several private messages about childcare... my bad.  I know that there are lots of you who have your parents keep your kids and it's a healthy arrangement.  I TOTALLY respect that.  I do not live in the same city as my parents or maybe I'd have a similar arrangement.  My beef is the EXPECTATION that people put on their parents to keep their children- as if they don't have lives of their own.  That's all.  My bad.

Disclaimer #3: Thanks to all who celebrate our child's life with us- whether you were at the party or not.  And, in advance, I'm sorry if any of you were offended that you were not included.  Again, my bad.
*******************************

And now, we're off to find our happily ever after.  It's what you do when you're 4, you know.

Scoot on over, God... I got this one.

This morning on my way to church I was listening to WBFJ, our local Christian radio station.  Yesterday one of their DJs died suddenly.  As you can imagine, the "feel" of the station is very somber.  It's been painful to listen to at moments.  And, as a listener, I, too, felt like I knew this guy even though I'd never met him.  (Funny how even local celebrities end up as part of our lives.)

As the people on air were praying for his wife and kids, I started thinking about how unbelievably hard that would be.   I've actually been thinking a lot about death lately.  My step-mother, Mary, is in the final stages of fighting cancer.  Even thinking about her no longer being with us makes me tear up.  (Side note: this should also explain why my eye makeup constantly looks like crap these days.)

The more I think about death (which happens to be a lot), the more I get overwhelmed.  I think about the other people I'm close to in life- my husband, my family, my BFFs- and think about how I can't imagine a world without them, either.

So all of this if floating around in my brain as I'm listening to the radio this morning and I have this thought: "I would not be able to make it without Dan."  I have this gut-wrenching heart check, which is quickly followed up with what I think was the Lord speaking to me: "Yes, you could.  I would be there for you."

Now before you think I'm all "it would be a bed of roses" if something happened to my husband, let me tell you that I, too, was shocked by that thought.  I was shocked that I felt God saying that I *would* survive something that big.  I would have to, I'd have E to take care of.  And while I don't even like to think about what that would look like (and my heart hurts even writing this), I think that He is right... I would be okay, because God would take care of me.

(Enter sappy Christian music playing in the background, beginning to swell because you think I am about to have some profound thought about how I love God more than any human and I'm a good Christian...)

The next immediate thought I had went something like this: "Maybe I could survive that... but I could NOT survive something happening to Elizabeth."

Yep.  He (God) loves it when I call the shots.

I drove on, content in thinking my thoughts about how there is no way I would be able to function for time and all eternity if something happened to my little girl.  (And before you again start playing sappy background music, I'll skip to the punchline and tell you that I'm still in this mode.  I have not reasoned that I would be able to function, so heads' up.)

I got to MOMS, fixed myself a cup of tasty coffee, got my tasty plate of food, and sat down among friends and neighbors... ready to hear what Dr. Satterwhite had to say.  (He's a local pediatrician who came to talk to us this morning about parenting.)  Already I'd moved on from the internal discussion about death/children/family/functioning.

Dr. Satterwhite was amazing.  His teaching will be posted here once it gets edited.  You should all download it and hear it.  Seriously.  Fantastic.

But one of the things that struck me the most was his point that (in parenting, in life, whatever) God is on the throne and I am not.  Not a new concept, I get that... He followed it up with something along the lines of "when you try to put your will in the lives of your children, it's as if you are saying 'God, scoot over... I got this one covered'."  Ouch.

That's totally me.

He said LOTS of things I needed to hear (again, download it... you won't be disappointed), but a gentle follow-up from my earlier mind-conversation was clear.  If I trust God to get me through ____ (death, life, health, healing), why would I not trust Him with ALL things... even Elizabeth's life?  (gulp.)  I need to momma-up and daily release my daughter to Him.  Clearly, He's in control anyway, but my acknowledging it will be healthy for me, for E, for my whole family to see.

I'm not quite sure how this will all play out... but as much as I'm sure God enjoys sharing His throne with me, I think I'll scoot on back off it, and leave the controlling the universe to Him.  He seems to have done an okay job so far, so I'll go back to doing dishes and planning a birthday party and leave the rest to Him.

He loves it when I do that.