Do Good Day, 2022

It's been almost 3 years since I've last blogged. Oof. That's not lost on me. And that's not to say I've not been writing- I've just not been posting it here. In the weeks to come I'll update everyone on what I'm working on, but first, let's address Do Good Day. 

This coming Saturday would be my Daddy's birthday. For those of you new to my world, I'll sum up quickly what you've missed. My Daddy was my biggest fan, loudest cheerleader, and funniest comedian. He died tragically in 2012... so this is the 10th year we've "celebrated" his birthday without him. He lived a very giving life- one full of random acts of kindness- and we've chosen to honor his life by doing good in his memory. More info about the Do Good movement can be found here. 

This upcoming weekend, we'd like to invite you to join us for a Do Good celebration. Feel free to bring a snack and a story. Our home will be open for guests starting at 4 and will go as late as it goes. There will be food, crafts, a chance to make new friends and share some laughs. All are welcome, everyone is invited. While you're here, we'll have a chance for your kids to have a tangible "Do Good" take home. We'll also have a box where you can donate gift cards or cash- we always try to stay ready to help when there's a need. 

Finally, we'll have a way for you to leave details about people/ situations that you know of where people could use some goodness. Our net is cast wide- but we're sure we're missing some obvious ways to give back some love. 

 Join us. Do good with us. Celebrate.

Our Fifth Annual "Do Good Day"

I can hardly believe that this year marks the 5th Annual Do Good Day.

While, yes, my heart hurts for the reminder that this is the 5th September 24 without my Daddy around to celebrate his birthday, I am instead reminded that for 5 years we have banded together to care for others.  For five years we have reached out to respond to specific needs.  We have brightened people's days.  We have shared the load.

Let me tell you a little of what we've done together this last year:

We made it possible for a friend to travel to travel to have some time with a family member at the end of their life.  We've fixed cars.  We've provided groceries.  We've helped with gas cards.  We've donated pizza lunches and school supplies for Title 1 classrooms.  We've made sure teachers have classroom needs met.  We've sponsored lunches, coffees, and treats for those who need encouragement.  We've provided a wedding reception for someone who could not afford it.  We've reached out in love.

Do Good Day 2017 is on a Sunday.  We will be hosting a gathering at our home for those of you who are local- drop in any time between 1-5.  We've have snacks and drinks- no need to bring anything to share.  However, we're asking that you help us out in several ways:

1. We'd love you to share your stories.  We're asking that you share with us 5 ways you've "done good" as we compile a written resource as to who we are. *shared stories*

2. Between now and 9/24, we're challenging you to do 5 "do good" deeds.  We've shared with you in the past lots of different suggestions for doing good, but we'd love to help you think of more if you're at a loss for what to do. *five deeds*

3. As I write this, we are anticipating how Hurricane Irma will impact Florida.  Consider those in Florida- or those in Houston still reeling from Harvey- as ones to whom you can reach out.  I have 2 dear friends who are staying in their home (because of work obligations) who I anticipate will need lots of help rebuilding.  If you aren't directly connected to anyone in Florida, I'm happy to let you know their needs. *disaster relief*

4. Consider sharing on Social Media some ways you are helping using the hashtag #DoGoodDay.  This will help us as we compile our stories. *social media*

5. If you are able to come to our drop-in event, consider helping us by rebuilding our resource bin.  We are down to only a couple grocery store cards- we are out of gas cards and "box store" cards (Walmart, Target, Home Depot, etc.)  We'd love you to consider donating gift cards toward our united cause.  Alternatively, we will sometimes be in a bind to send cash as their is a need if you feel comfortable donating in that way. *rebuilding resources*

Together we are a force for good.  Together we can do so much more.  And together we can be encouraged to do even more.  Excited to see what #DoGoodDay looks like this year.  Thanks for being a part of this movement.

Do Good Day, 2016

Hi Friends.

It's Coming.

Do Good Day 2016 is only 2 weeks away.

Here's the quick recap for those of you who are new to Do Good Day: Each September 24th (my Daddy's birthday), we unite forces to Do Good.  It's sort of a collective Random Acts of Kindness day... honoring a man who showed Goodness to so many of us. (longer explanation below**)

Each year since Daddy died, I've suggested to you a focus for your Good... a little bit of direction for those of you who might not know where to start. In the past we've donated to St. Baldricks in honor of children who fight childhood cancer, we've served the kids who benefit from the backpack program of Meadowlark Meals, we've organized gift cards for food for those who arrive at their doctor's office and haven't eaten, we've donated to Alzheimer's research, and we've collected money for a family who had been recently diagnosed with cancer.  Each collective effort brings a smile to my face and meets a need in such a tangible Good way.

You don't have to join our collective effort, though.   Anything you do is great- my day is made by the stories I hear from you about what you do in your own little sphere of influence.   I get texts all day of people who pay for people's coffee anonymously in the drive through... people who bring lunch to coworkers... people who provide musical instruments for children who can't afford them... people who have honored my Daddy by bringing treats to his beloved Home Depot coworkers.

So what will you do this year?  Already have ideas?  SUPER.  Need help with a little direction?  Think on this:  I'll be collecting school supplies for two area teachers who teach at local schools that need extra Good.  One of them teaches First Grade, and one works with Exceptional Children.  Both of their classrooms have children who need a little extra- and don't have parents that are able to always provide in that way.  They can both use basic school supplies or gift cards to Target/ Wal-Mart/ Barnes and Noble/ Amazon.  I'll be collecting items and gift cards for them.

Want another way to help?  Our "Do Good" fund is super low.  This year alone we have provided money to buy appliances, car repairs, and basic needs for multiple individuals.  Our supply box of gift cards is nearly depleted.  Do you work for an area business that would like to donate a gift card?  We'd love to keep it on hand.  We give them out as we hear of needs- and don't always have time to publicize for help.

Speaking of which, in this next year, we are going to be changing how we publicize needs- both on the giving and receiving end.  If you have a need or feel like you can meet a need, please make sure you've liked our Facebook Page.  We will begin better utilizing our page to help with the anonymity of our needs.

I'm grateful to get to celebrate my Daddy's life with all of you.  He would hate the attention, but he sure would love the results of this effort.  Whatever you do on 9/24, know that how you Do Good can have lasting effects.  Join me, will you?

** More on the history of Do Good here.

a recap of our day.

September 24, 2012.  I was terrified of this first.  The first year after Daddy died- I wasn't sure how the day would go, but I knew that it would be hard.  And it was.  We invited some of our friends over for dinner- I made my favorite foods that Daddy used to make, and we collected donations for Meadowlark Meals (a still relatively new program at E's school.)  My heart stumbled over that first year and kept on going.

September 24, 2013.  This year was- without a doubt- the hardest Do Good Day.  This was not only my Daddy's birthday... but it was what was supposed to be our baby's birthday.  Sadly, we never got to hold that baby... so that day was grief upon grief.  We decided not to hide in our pain (like I, honestly, wanted to) and threw a big ol' party.  All day long we enjoyed the company friends, surprise visitors, donations galore... and slowly the day turned joyful.

September 24, 2014.  This year felt so much easier.  Because I didn't dread Daddy's birthday.  It wasn't just his birthday... it was actually Do Good Day.  So many people sent me so many stories- it seemed like it was catching on.  I loved hearing how people blessed those around them throughout the day.

But then this year.

Y'all.

This year I'm not sure where to begin.

I woke up this morning and texts started pouring in with your stories.  Facebook started blowing up early on with people reminding each other to Do Good.  People challenged each other.  People bragged on each other.  And this year it went BIG.  Here are some of my highlights:

- Classrooms across the state were inspired by students and teachers who shared with them the concept of Do Good.

- Homeless individuals had breakfast provided for them.

- Coworkers were celebrated for their friendship.

- Lost dogs were helped home.

- Children were not endangered by parents who were already past their limits. (Purely in jest, DSS...)

- Donations to charities were made.

- Meals were paid for.

- School employees were told how much they were valued.

Y'all.  It truly feels like a MOVEMENT.  Because of you.

Those of you who have been here from the beginning know that I started the concept of "Do Good" as a tribute for Daddy... as well as a way to make sure that his idea of Doing Good wouldn't die with him.  And it's FAR surpassed what I envisioned.

Please know how grateful I am that you are a part of this effort.  And know how grateful I am that some of you were able to honor our friend John.  Tonight alone we raised almost $1400.  We're waiting on a few more donations before we send a check to Arizona... please know if you'd like to contribute, I'll gladly send your money with ours.

It truly takes a village... I am so very thankful you are mine.

Do Good Day, 2015

Suuuuuuper quick recap:
-My Daddy always told me to "Do Good."  It was his "thing."  Now it's mine.
-He died in 2012.
-September 24 is his birthday, so we've made that "Do Good Day" in his memory.
-Previous Blog Posts about Do Good Day are here, here, and here.

Y'all.

There is so much pain.

Just. so. much.

This year, Do Good Day falls right in the middle of the
pain.  In the middle of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  Days before a Walk to End Alzheimer's that I will be doing in honor of my sweet Momma.  And now, days after one of my very favorite people has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer.

I don't even know where to begin.

My hope for this September 24 is that you will Do Good.  I don't care how you do it, I just want you to do it.

But if you are looking for how and where to give money- I'd love for you to donate to any of the above causes.  St. Baldrick's.  Alzheimer's.  Or even to my buddy's medical bills.  (More details about this soon.)

As always, I am CONSTANTLY collecting gift cards.  I have a file of "Do Good" cards that are donated throughout the year as needs arise.  I'd love to add any that you'd like to share.

For now, I just wanted to put it on your radar.  It's coming.  I can't wait to see what we do, together.

For the Love...

Once upon a time, I had a fake best friend.  Well, let's be honest.  I've had several of them.  Jay-Z thinks I'm awesome, Jimmy Fallon thinks I'm hysterical, and well, Jen Hatmaker thinks I'm her real life bestie.

None of those, sadly, are true statements.

However, one of those mentioned has caressed my face.

And her name is Jen Hatmaker.

If you have spent any time with on this blog, on my social media pages, or in person... you know I love Jen.  She's funny, she's smart, and she speaks Truth in a way that so many people "get"... she's just fantastic.

The short version of my love of this "celebrity" (she hates that term, btw) is this: in 2008, 4 of my not-yet-but-soon-to-be-best-friends and I decided to get together to do a Bible Study.  We knew-ish each other, but thought because of our similar places in life, maybe we'd have a connection.  (Side note: I highly recommend this method of finding your people.  Pick people that you might like, pick something to do together, and give it a season.  It might work.  It might not.  I've been in groups that will never let go of each other and groups that enjoyed the season and moved on.)  Two of those in our group went to our local Christian Book Store, sat on the floor, and looked through studies.  We stumbled upon one written by Jen, bought it because it looked cute, and started living life together with Jen as our unspoken 6th Group Member.

It wasn't long until I friended her on Facebook.  Because back in 2008, I thought it might make this sweet pastor's wife feel good to hear from little ol' me that her words had made a difference.

Ahem.  Yep.  Cause she needed a fan.

Shortly after she started writing big things... like Interrupted... which did just that and interrupted our lives.  Several of you will say that "Seven" was your favorite Jen book... mine was and will likely always be "Interrupted" because it changed us for the better.  Permanently.

I began to share her books with friends- putting them in the hands of ones I loved hoping they would love Jen back.

Then she had this moment where she made us all say "amen"... and the World At Large fell in love with my Fake Bestie.

Her life went along at lightening speeds... HGTV found her and did a show about her amazing house. People started mentioning her to me asking if I'd ever heard of her.  I started to feel a little territorial of her for a while (she was my fake bestie first!) then realized how beyond childish that was and embraced that people loved my Love... and it's so good.

Yesterday, her newest book hit the shelves.  I was fortunate enough to be able to read an advanced copy with 499 strangers who have banded together on Facebook.  I have learned more about them than I know of some of you- and I'm excited (and terrified) to meet them all in Austin in a few weeks.   I watched "Launch Day" blow up my Newsfeed yesterday and sat back feeling a bit like I hadn't turned in my homework... I had failed to alert you all about how her book was now AVAILABLE and how YOU NEEDED TO RUN OUT AND IMMEDIATELY BUY IT.

So, in true Becky Fashion... here we are "A Day Late and A Dollar Short".  Y'all want this book?  Fine.  Let's do this.

In the spirit of Love and Doing Good, I'm sponsoring a bloggy contest.  I'd love for you to enter.

Here's how to get "entered":
* Like this post on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram= one entry (per each site!)
* Share this post= two entries
* Tell me how you are Doing Good (privately or publicly)= 5 entries

And here is what you will win...
* A copy of Jen's Book, For The Love, which is both hysterical and uplifting
* The world's best pen
* Your very own "Do Good" coffee mug
* Your choice of a "Do Good" T-shirt or Tote Bag
* A gift card to my super favorite place in Winston-Salem, Camino Bakery (Not local? No problem. I'll send you a Starbucks card and gift the Camino one to someone local.)

Not enough reason for you to enter?  How about some more cute pictures of me with Jen?

The Six of Us.  Laurie had just moved to Phoenix, so she was there as Flat Laurie.

Did you want to see a better picture of when I first met her?  Sorry, this will have to do.  "Someone" kinda forgot to take a picture while I was busy making sure she had her own with Jen.  If you'd like to see *that* picture, you might want to ask my friend Michelle... oh, whoops... I see what I did there.

Besties...

My life has been enriched by her words.  You will love this book.  The "Thank You Notes" alone are worth it.  It's perfectly timed for the beginning of school- it gives us a pass from all of the things that the world (and Pinterest) tells us we "should" be doing as Mommas.  I can't wait to hear what you think about the book... and I'm happy to autograph your copy if Jen isn't available to.


Need more?  Here's a link to what I wrote about my first meeting with Jen.  Sigh.

Now get to sharing/posting/entering.  FOR THE LOVE, people!

Doing Good, 2014

I have been mulling over this post for a few weeks.

I have started it 3 separate times tonight.

For some reason, the words just aren't easy.

I'm struggling to make words on my computer screen match all of the emotion in my heart.  Please bear with me as I take you on a tour through the jumbled-ness that is my mind these days.

Next week is September 24.

That would be my Daddy's birthday.  It also would be the first birthday of a baby I didn't get to meet.

Last year I anticipated that date by planning activities to occupy my heart and mind on a day that I knew had the potential to be painful.  And it was beautiful.  Here's a bit about what good we did on 9-24-13.

September 24 has become Do Good day- not only for just our family, but for so many who have spread the love in their own circles.  This year was no exception.  We opened our home to locals to join us as we celebrate the Good.  Not only was I floored during the day (Daddy's best friend from home SHOCKED me when she arrived unannounced!), I was amazed throughout that week as I heard stories of people Doing Good.
  * We collected over $500 in gift cards to distribute as needs arise.  We have already given several to families in need of some Good, and have been blown away at the stories of how our friends' generosity has met their need in immediate ways.
  * A friend in Asheville put together a drum kit with the help of local musicians to give to a child who was taking lessons and did not yet have a kit.  While his mother may not see hear the Good always in such a LOUD gift, she was thrilled- as was her son- with such a significant gesture.
  * People sent me story after story that day of paying for others' meals, coffees, groceries in anonymity and how amazing that felt.

Goodness won on September 24.  

You have joined me in taking my Daddy's phrase - Do Good - and truly making it a movement.  So many of you text me when you see verses or signs or gestures of Doing Good.  You walk alongside me in my grief by constantly pointing me toward the positive- and for that I am beyond grateful.

Throughout the last year, our Do Good "funds" have provided Christmas gifts to families in need, furniture and appliances to those just heading out on their own, gift cards to just the right people at just the right time.

We would be honored if you are interested in contributing to our Do Good Fund.

At the same time, so much good came last year from some of you who gave right where you were.  You blessed children with drums.  You surprised people with lunch.  You brought happiness and joy and good wherever you went.  And those stories were awesome.

The stories I hear from y'all about the good you do and the good you see have sustained me.  Beyond that, those stories have blessed the recipients of the goodness.  And I feel certain that we are all ready to have some good again filter through our newsfeed and our lives.

Would you join me on Wednesday?  It doesn't matter how you do it- I'd just love to know that you'll partner with us on September 24 to Do Good.  If you don't mind, send me your "goodness" stories that day.  I'll do better at updating you on all the stories and we can see what this little movement of ours can do.

I can't wait to see the good.

Stan Waldrup
September 24, 1942- March 25, 2012
Loving Daddy, Silly Dadaw, and the one who taught so many of us how to Do Good

 

A Change in Heart in 2013

Yesterday morning I was up before my family and had some time alone in our kitchen with my thoughts and the sausage balls I was making.  I was thinking through the "What would a 'best of 2013' blog post look like" and all of the fun things that I would include.  These same thoughts went through my mind as I typed our New Years letter... still with our cards that I'm hoping to finish before the weekend.

It's no surprise that in my heart of hearts I've been in a hard spot these last almost 2 years.  Losing people I love has caused me to lose a a little bit of myself.  While, at first, I was ashamed of what those losses changed me to be, I now embrace the new and am hoping to honor the life with which I'm left.  And don't be distraught!  This will not be a "what I lost" post... but rather a "what we gained" reflection.

Our personal 2013 highlights, in no particular order of importance or calendar dating:

September 24 has become Do Good day- not only for just our family, but for so many who have spread the love in their own circles.  This year was no exception.  We opened our home to locals to join us as we celebrate the Good.  Not only was I floored during the day (Daddy's best friend from home SHOCKED me when she arrived unannounced!), I was amazed throughout that week as I heard stories of people Doing Good.
  * We collected over $500 in gift cards to distribute as needs arise.  We have already given several to families in need of some Good, and have been blown away at the stories of how our friends' generosity has met their need in immediate ways.
  * A friend in Asheville put together a drum kit with the help of local musicians to give to a child who was taking lessons and did not yet have a kit.  While his mother may not see hear the Good always in such a LOUD gift, she was thrilled- as was her son- with such a significant gesture.
  * People sent me story after story that day of paying for others' meals, coffees, groceries in anonymity and how amazing that felt.

Goodness won on September 24.  I invite you to mark your shiny new 2014 calendar with Do Good Day.  I'll be posting again in the month of September to remind you of it.  Let's Do Good throughout this new year.  (And, if it's not too much to ask, I'd love you to message me how your Do Good gesture affected you and/or the recipient.)

****

We made it our mission this year to say "yes" to things that would bring us happiness.  Several events led to big smiles for all 3 of our family.  We enjoyed a Disney trip during Star Wars weekend- I've never seen many happy nerds in one place (my two included.) I finally met Jen Hatmaker!  I saw Glennon Doyle Melton twice.  I told Philip Yancey how much I've enjoyed his books through the years.  I had a life-giving conversation in the rain with Frank Schaeffer that I reflect on often.  I went to see my other half in Arizona and experienced some of her life there.  I took part in a Grief group at Sawtooth that was healing to my soul.  I ice skated with my little girl in Rockefeller Center as it snowed.  We saw 5 (ridiculous!) shows on Broadway.  Dan and I shared a meal with his best friend from college (and his gorgeous new bride!) and I saw him grin in a way that I've missed.  We had Camp of Kids again with days full of crafts, snacks, and giggles.  E attended her first "grown up" concert- The Indigo Girls- in an amazing venue with amazing people singing loudly all around.  Dan and I saw the Barenaked Ladies, Guster, and Ben Folds with some of our best friends (and rode home with the top down in a convertible... lovely.)  I then followed up with a second BNL show in which I finally met the band.

As silly as some of those things sound- they restored pieces of my heart that had been knocked away by pain.  While it would likely get me a restraining order, I thought about writing BNL a "fan letter" and telling them how their shows connected me to years gone by and how healing they were in my 2013.  I'll never forget Brad Spires introducing me to them in 1996, and I've listened faithfully for the last 17 years.  Singing songs (loudly) that I loved in my 20s reconnected me to the girl I was then... and for that, I am grateful.

****

The turning point in my year happened on June 15.  Just two months prior I had sunk to my lowest of points and grieved in new and painful ways.  That Saturday in June, E and I were doing some grocery shopping when I got a text from a friend.  He asked my opinion on ring sizes for his beloved- and I am not exaggerating at all when I say my heart grew two sizes that day.  I got taken out of my hurt and put in the middle of his joy.  While his reasons for including me in his planning were likely practical, for me it became holy as the Joy began to outweigh the Pain.  I texted him yesterday to tell him that while I joked after that moment that he was "better than Xanax" (or Zoloft, depending on the day) that honestly was not far from the truth.  My life is better because of that day, my 2013 was better because we celebrated their engagement, my 2014 will be better as we celebrate their wedding, and my friends' lives will be better as they will share them in marriage.

"Oh, the feels."

****

While your 2014 may not be filled with engagements and concerts and celebrations, I pray that your heart will be filled with moments of joy.  We know that there will be dark days amidst the light ones, but I'm committing to focus on the light this year.  Happy New Year, my friends.

Doing (some more) Good

Yesterday, one of my best friends asked me if I was dreading next week.  Wholeheartedly I said yes.  Tuesday, one week from right now, will be my Daddy's birthday and my due date- all wrapped up in one hard day.  Those anticipated events would arrive with little fanfare if I would allow it... but y'all know that's not how we roll.

Before this most recent loss, we lost two other babies.  Their due dates came and went- "celebrated" and remembered by Dan and me.  We would cry- longing to have a child, yet never knowing if we would have one.  I wasn't yet in a place where I felt I had words to express to others what that pain was like- so I smothered it all deep down in my dark places and became a wounded heart.

The loss of this baby is different.  This baby was so loudly celebrated at his or her "arrival" into our lives that it feels only necessary to celebrate the due date, too.  We knew this baby in more intimate ways- we had names picked out, plans made, nurseries nearly assembled.  We were unable to discover the gender, but when I think about our child, I tend to think it was a girl.  I didn't have strong feelings about gender with the others, but maybe it was because I was so closely tied to the girl name that when I think of what she (he?) would be like, I see her as female.

This summer as Dan's aunties were loving on us, we talked about the fact that when I get to heaven, I'll have four children. FOUR. What the what.  I understand that many of my friends have more than that now- but in my earthly home, I only have ONE.  Four will be a huge leap.... thankful that I'll be surrounded by God's glory and not need to worry about raising four children!!

So as we anticipate the 24th and mourn her due date- as well as my Daddy's birthday- we are turning our thoughts away from our own sadness and hurt and looking toward the needs of others.

That day, we are asking some local friends to join us for lunch and to join us in Doing Good.  Our hope is that we will surround ourselves with the people who have supported us mightily in the last several years, enjoy being a community, and take care of the needs of others.  In my email invitation to my Tribe, I asked them to consider Doing Good by one of the following:

- Donating gift cards (that we will in turn distribute as needs arise)
- Give to Meadowlark Meals- a backpack program that helps feed at risk children at our local school
- Donating toward a childhood cancer charity.  (I'd love to recommend this one.)
And, since that initial email was sent, a friend has taken on the task of sending supplies to friends affected by the flooding in Colorado. Maybe you'll donate to that need?

Or maybe there's another need near you that you feel compelled to support... if not, I'd love to help you find one.  As I have said before, in the last 500+ days, some of the times I have felt the most "whole" have been when I've been taking care of the needs of others and not my own.  This is the heartbeat of the Do Good "movement", and it's my hope that you will join us in intentionally Doing Good on September 24th.

What a lovely tribute it would be to my own Daddy, his grandchild, and our community.

do good.

One morning when I was in third(ish) grade, my Daddy drove us to school.  Against the backdrop of Scotty Rhodarmer on WWNC, Daddy slowed his car down to offer help to a man walking along the road with his young son.  Now, where I went to elementary school, people did not just walk along the road.  Daddy knew there had to be some reason this man- and his son- were walking... as he noted to me that there had to be another reason they didn't have on coats.

Daddy offered to take the man and his son to school.  The boy, my brother, and I were dropped off, and quite honestly, I don't remember to this day who he was.  I'm not sure if he was a kid I ever saw again, or he was one of the "big" kids who I didn't know.  Or, maybe it was one of you.

After dropping us off, Daddy found out that the man's car was broken down (hence the walking along a non-walking-friendly road) and he couldn't afford to have it fixed until payday.  He told Daddy that times were tight and he was trying to make ends meet.  This was not a cry for help- he was merely telling his story.

But Daddy wasn't just a listener... he was a do-er.

As they stopped for coffee, he called his office and told them he wouldn't be in that day.  They first went to a garage where the man arranged for his car to be towed and repaired.  Then Daddy took him shopping.  The man (humbly) accepted Daddy's offer to provide a coat for his son, but Daddy didn't stop there.  He outfitted both the man and his son (against the man's arguments), then treated the stranger to lunch.  After lunch, he returned the man to the garage to pick up his repaired car.

And then he went on his way.  To the best of my knowledge, he never spoke to this man again.  (But we all know that man heard more than enough Stan Stories during those hours together to last him a lifetime!)

He did not do this act of service as a way to get "credit".  He did not do it for any repayment.  He did not do it for praise... in fact, he's probably angry at me that I told you all that story just now.  He did it because he did good.

He loved people, and he loved them well.

He taught me how to love people... and reminded me of my "mission" each time we spoke.  No matter whether in person or on the phone, we always left our time together with an "I love you.".. then he always followed that up with "Do Good."

As my heart has ached these last 3 months with the loss of my Daddy- these words keep coming back to me.  I'll interrupt myself to give you all an update on how I'm doing in that regard... it's hard, y'all.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't end up in tears.  As I watched my parents grieve when my grandparents died, I (morbidly?) wondered what that would "feel" like when it was my turn.  And I'll tell you... I had it all wrong.  The sadness is constant.  The pain is always just below the surface.  My heart is both raw and numb with hurt.  Yes, life is going on... but it is always tempered with this nagging of something being "different."

In that same vein, the only time that I feel "normal" is when I am doing good.  When I get outside of myself to care for the needs of others... that's when I feel okay.  That's when I feel like I'm going to make it.  And that's when I know that I am made that way because that's how my Daddy raised me.

One of my fears is that with his death, many people will suffer from not having his "good" done in this world.  In fact, the night before he died, he rode his lawnmower up to his neighbor's house (without asking) to mow her yard.  No thanks were needed- he just raised his hand to wave at her as he finished up and headed back down the hill.  Who will do that now?  Who will decided to take the meals to the people up the street when their family won't be there for Thanksgiving?  Who will buy the coat, the meal, the car repair for the man who desperately needs it?

And then it hit me... I will.  You will.  We will... together.

Join me as I honor my Daddy's life and venture into a cooperative movement to "do good."  This is not a "pay it forward" concept in the sense that once you "do good", you're done.  This is a way for you to reach out to those around you and share love as you take care of those in your life.

Over the next few weeks, I'll filter through this website, through Facebook, and through a new site several ways that you can focus your good works.  I'll offer some products you could use to create gifts that provide moments of hope... cards, mugs, bags, Rwandan pens, etc.  Through your own stories, we'll restore some peace in this world as you share with us all how your life changes as you "do good".

Here's the beauty: any money raised through the items sold will go to fund more "good" in this world.  Together, we'll put some much needed items in the pediatric oncology unit at Baptist Hospital.  We'll send support to some widows in Kigali.  We'll use our resources- collectively- to make some big things happen.  And individually, your "good" efforts will bless those in your own spheres.  Everyone wins.

I can't wait to share with you the stories of hope.  I hope you'll join us.  I'll post products as soon as the website is finished- look for it the first week in July.  But this weekend as several of us join hearts in Asheville to honor Daddy's life... I hope we'll remember the good that he poured into us all.  And I hope that we won't stop there- I hope that we'll, in turn, do good.

He'd like that.

Daddy meeting E for the first time

The Daddy I grew up with

The Daddy I knew best

Dadaw, E, Alex, and Nanny