Thursday, April 12, 2012

we interrupt this grief...

Today has been good for my soul.  Not in a "everything is fine" way, because it's not.  But in a "thank you, God, for blessings along the way."

I started my day with one of my favorite people... we shared coffee and grief... and even a couple of laughs.  Her precious daughter is the one I've mentioned on here before... the sweet 3 year old with cancer... and you'll get to hear more of her story on here next week.

On my way to visit another friend in the midst of her own storm, I got a call from my cousin who was just down the road trying on a Mother of the Bride dress.  I ran by the shop, saw her looking lovely, and even got to hug the bride and groom who are in town doing wedding stuff.

I came back to pick up E early from preschool and we headed to the elementary school she will attend next year- today was Kindergarten Assessment.  E was assessed by one of my precious friends (who happens to be an amazing teacher there) who took time to love on both of us in the middle of our yucky stuff, but who focused on E being Kindergarten-bound and not just the yucky stuff.

E joined one of her favorite gal pals for a playdate at the gracious offer of a friend and I ate lunch by myself ... even with my shoulders a little relaxed.  I had a quick visit from a friend bringing us dinner for tomorrow night, then tackled cleaning our kitchen.  Gosh, it feels good to see results... and my kitchen smells yummily clean, too.

Dan will be home soon and is taking E to the library to pick out their next chapter book- they read together each night and then they see the movie/watch the play/enjoy however the book has been adapted.  I love our local library like I love our local post office... two of the things I truly enjoy about our precious town.

I hate, hate, hate this new space I'm in, but I love how God continues to show His favor and blessings in the midst of it all.  I've seen more aspects of His love for us as my heart has been changed to "feel" more for the pain around me.  If I have "felt more" because of this... how much more does God "feel" for us because of His giving up His own son for us? 

I love how I feel His love for us through people around us- both our "inner circle" and those from afar.

I love how I grin every time I get a call from a friend (who calls almost daily) when I hear her voice say "I'm just checking on your white a$$."  I love that, partially because that's the kind of thing Daddy would have said... and partially because she's been consistent to call.  I'm seeing more of the need to love people consistently (that is not a passive aggressive cry for more calls, btw)... and how to be God's hope to those who need it.

And I love the interruptions of grief.  The playdates, the shopping, the coffee dates, the clean kitchen, the moments to just be.  I love them.  And I know that soon, it won't be an interruption... it will be what we call "normal".  God promises to heal my hurt- not to make me forget... but to help me with the new normal of my days.  I am thankful for His promises... and I'm learning to make it well with my soul. 

1 comment:

Allison said...

Becky - I feel your hurt. I am so sorry you are having to face this at this time, it seems so early. Your dad lived a very full life and I know he is happy with Mary again. I also know that doesn't help your pain, but I also know you have MANY wonderful memories of him. Know I have you in my prayers and I love you!