Who knew it... the social-networking tool I love the most makes me, well, anxious.
Wednesday evening, just returning from a six-day beach trip, I got online to see what I "missed" while I was gone. The first 2 days of my trip I had access to FB, so I didn't miss much there. In fact, FB told me that I was missing a Super Moon on Saturday night- something we quickly remedied. But from Sunday on, I didn't see anything online that was happening.
Those of you who know me know that I love me some Facebook. It really is an ENFP's dream- being connected to all of the people we love so much (and some randoms) and having a forum to share what's happening in our world, too. With the big things getting ready to occur in Johnston-land (a trip to Africa, fostering), it's the ideal medium to share with all of you what's happening now so you don't have to wait until a Christmas card to find out. (Like I even sent Christmas cards last year... ha!) And, the difference in FB and this-here blog is that I learn about YOU on Facebook. On my blog, you learn about me. While I think your days are so enriched with info about me, I feel certain my life is not complete without knowing about you, too.
So, back to Wednesday. I pulled up Facebook and began by reading my messages and my notifications. Then I started scrolling back through the newsfeed. Then I felt it... anxiety.
Seriously... there was so much to read (and, no, I didn't read EVERY SINGLE THING that happened while I was gone) and so many burdens/joys to comprehend... and of course those of you who like to update me with facts ("It's Friday!" "Unloading my groceries." "My back hurts.")... it was all a lot to process. I wasn't, though, until I stepped away from the computer that I acknowledged the feeling that it gave me... anxiety.
Before you jump to conclusions, I am not giving up Facebook. In fact, I can't tell you the number of people who asked if I was going to do just that for Lent.... and the answer is still "no". This is the only medium I use to contact our students and, if for no other reason, I need it for that.
What, then, is a girl to do?
Two things have crept into my mind as I've started processing this- both are wisdom provided by friends. The first is from my friend, Kelly, who has been emailing me to "check in" to see how my Quiet Times are going. (QT= time alone with God) Kelly is someone who cares about me and my relationship with Him- it's so nice to have those emails pop in my inbox as a reminder.
The second is what we heard yesterday at MOMS from our worship pastor, Wes. He shared that intimacy with God is the antidote to anxiety. Funny he would use that phrase right as the word "anxiety" was rolling around in my head.
Kelly's emails + Wes's teaching = something I need to work on.
All of this to say- I don't have an answer. I don't feel like Facebook is an unhealthy addiction in my life (despite the joking I do about it.) I don't feel like I'm supposed to give it up. I do feel like I'm supposed to use more moderation with it... maybe a trip to Africa will be just the cure for that. Have any of you felt this similar FB-anxiety phenomenon? I'd love to hear how you dealt with it.
Off to update my status....