Monday, September 27, 2010

Why I Am Inappropriate.... (and we have a winner)

First things first... to those of you how commented on (and decided to "follow" my blog!), gracias.  Your stories were quite entertaining.  I wrote all of your precious names on pieces of paper and scientifically drew a winner.  Lindsay, you are the proud new owner of a purple tie-dyed beer coozie and a pretty white sand dollar.  I hope it didn't break in my bag.

Now on to the story....

So, last year when the five of us went to the beach for our First Annual Beach Weekend, we had a rockin' good time and had hilarious stories.  In fact, some were so funny that while I was on the phone this week someone said "after LAST year's stories, I can't WAIT to hear this year's."  And, to be honest, I didn't think it was possible to top those stories, but I am always up for a challenge.

Then we topped them.

By going to a nudist beach.



To make a very long (and quite hysterical) story moderately short, I'll break it down like this:  2 of the girls went for a looooooooooong walk on Saturday (all the way to South Carolina!) and stumbled upon this gem-mine of a NC Treat.  Apparently at the end of the NC Coast, there is an un-official "natural" beach.  It's a bird reserve... and a place for naked people to get, well, naked.

They were just strolling along and spotted this guy in tighty-whities.  Weird, righ?  Weirder was that he went to a MAILBOX on the freakin' beach and got something out.  They were a little concerned if they checked out said mailbox, they would unofficially be inviting themselves to a party they weren't ready to attend.  So they kept walking.  And saw ANOTHER tighty-whitey guy.  And a Speedo guy.  Oh, and 4 NAKED people.  Yep.

All along these very well behaved women were freaking out (to each other, not making a spectacle) when they said to each other, "we are SO glad Becky wasn't with us."



(Some of you have heard me tell the story of wanting to be known as "Inappropriate Becky" and how unbeknown-st to me, I already am that girl.)

So those 2 non-inappropriate girls (or, I guess, appropriate) came back to the others of us and shared this story.  What was an inappropriate girl like me supposed to do?

Go back the next day

With my camera.

Sunday morning after our fair share of coffee and cinnamon rolls, here we go:
We start walking down the beach and it looks like there are no views to be viewed.  Then these guys show up behind us.  I very stealth-ly snapped some pics of them.  Yes, dude in the black bottoms?  That's his cover-up.  You are getting just a glimpse of his real suit... a neon green thong

Because I am the funniest person I know, I cracked myself up with trying to get "fake" pictures where it looked like those guys were trying to hold my friend's hand (as they were walking ahead of us and not yet aware of the guys getting ready to pass them.)  I laughed until I wheezed.

Then a guy in boxer shorts walks past us and stops to chat.  Cause, you know, it's normal for me to talk to a stranger in his boxers on a Sunday morning.  We got to the end and turned to come on back.  Well, 3 of us did.  We flagged down our other 2 friends who were well ahead to let them know we'd be at the mailbox (later post to come)... as I turned back around to see if Boxer Shorts guy had stopped to talk to them, I realized Boxer Shorts guy was now Naked Guy.  And Black Cover-Up guy had removed said Cover-Up... and now was in his thong checking out Naked Guy.

Can't get a clear picture of what I mean?  Don't worry, because I am inappropriate I cropped it for you:

Sadly, because apparently NC has Blue Laws on nudie beaches too, we didn't see a ton more.  I mean, don't get me wrong, Green Thong guy took said thong off at some point, but I was too far away and didn't have my zoom lens to prove it.  And it started raining, which seemed to scare away some sun bathers.

All in all, that was an experience I will never forget (and don't need to repeat)... and it solidified my role as "Inappropriate Becky".  My favorite viral video these days is this one by maybe he'll remake it for me and add "What I am is... inappropriate"... until then, I'll just bring my camera and document life on my own.

I'm still laughing about it all....


Jenni S. said...

You're braver than I am, Becky. I would have gone and laughed and made all manner of inappropriate jokes, but I don't think I'd be brave enough to take pictures.

Sarah said...

WTF!? When did Bird Island turn into a nude beach???

Renee said...

I'm just waiting for the pics of nekkid Becky to surface. It's only a matter of time . . .

sherri said...

that last shot is priceless. sorry I didn't have room for it in your new header.