Reclaiming January 25th...

January 25, 1989.  Possibly one of the top 5 worst days of my life.  The evening before, right around 9:00pm, my parents sat us down in our playroom and told us that they were getting a divorce.  It was right as "Roseanne" came on the Wednesday night line-up... and her maniacal laugh at the end of the opening credits still gives me the heebie jeebies.  That day (the 25th), I came in from school to find that while I'd been there all day, my Dad had indeed moved out.  I remember walking in the door and the first thing that hit me was that the coffee pot was gone.  Daddy always drank coffee, Mom didn't, so he took it.  That, in a nutshell, pushed me over the edge to realize that it was real.

January 25, 2004.  A super hard night, again.  One of my good friends was in the process of leaving her husband (what is it with that date?) and it was a nasty, ugly, scary evening.  My heart hurts as I remember that time period.

Various January 25ths in between?  Craptastic.  Generally, this date just sucks for me.  I used to nearly "celebrate" the craptastic-ness of the day by claiming that it was going to suck right out of the gate.  I think sometimes I created self-fulfilling prophesies by announcing that the 25th was coming up and I was going to hide out to avoid the drama.

So, although I'd acknowledged today's date mentally, I refused to let that infiltrate my brain today.  I woke up prepared to take on the day- in all of it's chaos.  I started putting dessert together for my supper club that was getting together tonight.  I did loads of laundry to get ready for our trip.  I helped Elizabeth organize all of her new princess goods.  I ran up and down the stairs... and then I noticed it... I couldn't breathe.

Because of my busy schedule, I tried to fight it for a bit... then remembered... that usually doesn't work.  I'd been struggling to breathe for a while now, but this was definitely heading into nasty breathing-territory.  So, I loaded up to go to the doctor, and a couple peak-flows and lung exams later, I'm home with some steroids.

That alone could qualify for a "typical" January 25th.

But here's what I didn't include about my day:
-My dear friend came to pick up Elizabeth- originally to let me have time to pack, but ended up keeping her while I went to the doctor.

-Waiting on the doctor, I drank coffee and enjoyed some quiet for the first time all day.

-I ran into 2 church friends at the doctor and got to have a second to catch up with them.

-When I came to pick E up from my friend's house, she had some unexpected guests (she was babysitting for another friend, too) and we were all able to enjoy dinner together.

-Her precious daughter, who I've loved since the moment I met her, brought me to tears tonight with her unscripted graciousness and sweet spirit.  I freakin' love that kid.

-Our families have morphed into one big family over the years, and I notice it most on nights like tonight.

-I got news today that one of my dearest friends found out she is having a GIRL (!!) (oh, and her first child is a boy, so I'm not knocking boys... I'm just pumped for one of each!) and I was moved to tears as she shared with me the news and her precious baby's name.

-Elizabeth fell in love with the label maker today.

-I ended up not being able to make my trip to Asheville tomorrow.  Craptastic?  A bit... I'm aching to see my family.  But the reclaimed blessing?  That I get to slow down a bit, put E in school, and pack in peace.

All in all, it would have been easy to focus on the lack of breathing and the canceled Supper Club and the canceled trip to Asheville.  But as I call it a day early, I choose to focus on His goodness and not my weakness/disappointments.  I got a song from Passion today (they have a pass that updates periodically with things available for download)... here are the lyrics for today's downloaded song.  Today's song.  TODAY'S song.  This is what I'll cling to... for January 25th.

Precious cornerstone, sure foundation 
You are faithful to the end 
We are waiting, on You, Jesus 
We believe You're all to us 

Let the glory of Your name be the passion of the Church 
Let the righteousness of God be a holy flame that burns 
Let the saving love of Christ be the measure of our lives 
We believe You're all to us 

my girl, waiting to be picked up for her afternoon playdate