Friday, October 1, 2010

Choosing to be blessed.

After it all hit the fan earlier in the week, I tried to give myself a constant attitude adjustment.  Every time one more thing would come, I would try to find something positive in it.  It happened a little easier after spending time with my Small Group Wednesday night... seriously, if you people are not in some sort of community, find some.  Our SG is a random assortment of people- some who know each other, some who are new, all who fit together quite nicely.  (And, it helps that our SG Leader, The Jett, makes me laugh constantly, which I needed...)

We came home from SG separately.  I'd left Dan at Carmax (they were giving us a quote on our car while we were at church) to come home and put E to bed.  When he came home a couple of hours later, we were the proud new owners of a "new" car. It looks like this (although this is not ours... ours is with Dan in Wilmington.):
Nothing fancy, but truly a blessing.  It had GREAT mileage, gets great gas mileage, and the price was right.  And while we aren't in love with the idea of a car payment, we CHOOSE to thank God that we are able to get a low rate and will be able to afford said payment.  (And we choose to thank all of you who prayed quickly for a bail-out plan, E.D.)

That night was I was going to bed, I stumbled across a random treat.  It seems that one of my friends from many moons ago is... (wait for it...) WORKING ON THE SET OF GLEE.  Seriously.  People.  I had to go upstairs to wake up Dan.  I couldn't stop smiling.  Not that this directly affects *my* life (although I've considered hopping a plane today to stalk her), but I honestly was thrilled that someone I love is working with  such a fun show.  I choose, with this one, to be thrilled for her... even though I'm jealous as crap.  I really do think that I didn't see her FB update about her job until just when I needed that extra smile...

Yesterday was a day of parental frustration.  E was in a rare state (explanation to follow) and wore on my nerves all day long.  We just couldn't get our act together.  I chose yesterday to find the blessing in the babysitter I had coming so I could head to E's school's consignment sale.  Not only did I need a break, but E adores "Big Anna" and we both benefited from the change in scenery.  (And, you who sold the princess sorter?  Thank you!  E hasn't seen it yet, but I know it's gonna change her world.)  I followed that up with dinner with a gal pal I hadn't seen in ages... and we had a great meal at a new (to me) restaurant.  As we walked out, we saw the pretty lit-up skyline of Winston... and I was filled with a peace that I was unsure I'd ever find here.  It reminded me of first seeing our city's skyline in June of 2002 as we rolled in from Chapel Hill... who knew how amazing this home would be for us.

I kissed my sweet girl as she slept and went to bed fairly early (after enjoying Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake!  what a hoot!) and got a decent rest... until Miss E came to see me at 4:30 saying she didn't feel well.  (Maybe that explained her off-behavior all day Thursday?  You'd think I'd have this figured out after 4 years with her...) I had her get in bed with me, then she promptly began throwing up.  Yep.  Fortunately I was able to grab a trashcan.  Unfortunately, it was this one:

Not only did I need to wash sheets and nightgowns this morning, but I had to do some carpet cleaning.  Whoops.  Anyway, for the next 3 hours she continued to doze/throw up.  Not quite what I'd planned for our Friday (I was supposed to be meeting my BFFs to do Bible Study this morning, and enjoying some solo errand running before picking her up from school.)  However, this morning I'm choosing joy.  I'm choosing to enjoy cuddly time with my girl... and choosing to be thankful that I'm able to drop everything to be with her.  I didn't have to take a day off of work, or inconvenience Dan, or cancel something more important that would inconvenience more people.  (Not that my besties aren't important, but we did just enjoy some good time together a week ago at the beach, so I feel like they'll forgive me.)

Today may not be what I had planned, but, honestly?  Nothing this week really was.  What has made the difference to me is my outlook and attitude about it all... the circumstances aren't necessarily getting easier, but my dealing with them is.  As we anguished daily during our infertile years, I longed for a little one to hold, puking or not.  I rest in that today... and I choose to say "blessed be the Lord"... how thankful I am that He chooses to bless me, too.


LAHO said...

so, so nicely stated, Becky (as always). Our week also has not gone as expected so this was great for me to read. You so rock!

Anonymous said...

Yes it is AMAZING how GOD chooses to Bless us. We have such a AMAZING God. Glad you was able to get a car. sad that sweet E is sick.